


I See Fire Extras

by obeytherandomness



Series: I See Fire [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Adventure, M/M, Past Lives, Rebirth, Soul Bond, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 15:06:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 37,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5502218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obeytherandomness/pseuds/obeytherandomness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A compilation of extras from my story, I See Fire.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. An Unexpected Arrival: Thorin's Gamble

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Quick explanation about how this compilation works-This will be following the chapters of my story, I See Fire, and is just some of the missing scenes and/or different POVs that I wanted to also portray to help people understand the dwarves in my story. Because of this, it will be easier for you to understand these if you've read the chapter in I See Fire, which I will make sure to mark before each of these chapters, that they are based off of before you read them. Thank you and I really hope you enjoy this compilation.

You wouldn't think that a round green door would be so hard to find, but Thorin was going round and round in circles and he got lost more than once. He had a suspicious feeling that it might be the hobbits' fault. More than once, he had asked for a direction only to get something completely different from what the previous one had said. It wasn't until he asked a sour-faced hobbit lass that he finally got very detailed directions as well as every wish that he get rid of the hobbit he was looking for with as little damage to the smial as possible. It was also then that Thorin realized that all the other hobbits must have been leading him astray in the hopes of protecting one of their own since he did look quite intimidating with his exhaustion from travelling from the meeting with almost no stops. It was a little strange that they should go so far as to protect the hobbit he was searching for despite obviously being afraid of him when he was a burglar. Perhaps he was just that good that none of the others had actually noticed yet.

He arrived at the door just as the sun was slipping below the horizon, but stopped before knocking on the door. He could hear the rest of his company inside and they sounded like they were having quite a lot of fun. He grinned when they started up a very loud song about just what Bilbo Baggins hates. He knew, as soon as he entered the building, their fun would be over and they would get straight down to business. Instead of knocking, he chose to sit on the bench in the front garden for a short time. He could do with a smoke, anyway.

The pipe he pulled out wasn't much of one and he probably could have gotten a better one during his travels, but Haran had given this one to him after he lost all his other ones to the dragon and it was one of the few things he had left of his soul mate. He took out some Old Toby – not a common leaf in Erebor, but Haran had taken quite a liking to it when they were forced to move this way – and began to smoke while he thought. The news that he had to tell his company was not good news. They would not be happy that there would be no aid from any of their kin, but they will not falter from their quest. His company is not so weak-hearted that they would give up Erebor so easily.

In all honesty, Thorin wasn't really sure that any of them were truly ready to face a dragon. He had planned to wait a while longer, allow his people to become better settled, before even suggesting such a dangerous adventure, but Gandalf had been adamant that this was the time. He perhaps should have been more against the idea than he really was, but he was more than eager to be home again. And, most of all, he kept thinking that he wanted to prove Haran right. They were going to return to Erebor just like his husband had always promised to the people.

Thorin heard the song inside end and decided that it was time for his introspection to be over. He had a hobbit to meet and an adventure to kick off. He knocked on the door and found it opened by the wizard. He made his excuses for being late, which weren't quite true, as he examined the hobbit. The creature didn't look at all like a burglar. In fact, he looked like every other gentle hobbit that Thorin had come across, but there was also something different about Bilbo Baggins that he couldn't quite put his finger on. It made him feel comfortable in the hobbit's presence, but that just made him more cautious. It wasn't just his own life that he would be risking if he should let his guard down and the hobbit decided to turn on them, it was also the rest of his company's.

* * *

Thorin would be lying if he said that he was disappointed by the hobbit's refusal to join them. Gandalf had assured him that having the Halfling along was the only way that they were ever going to reclaim their homeland. Even Balin lost hope when the gentle creature retreated to his room, but Thorin did not.

The way Master Baggins had reacted to the mention of a dragon was not quite right. Thorin was not at all surprised that Gandalf hadn't told the small thing about what exactly he was being hired to face, not even his own people were willing to join them once they knew that they would be facing a dragon. Yet, whatever fear everyone would have felt from the mention of facing a dragon, was also mingled with pain on the hobbit's face. Thorin was actually somewhat surprised that the creature didn't cry out with whatever it was that was paining him. The only people that Thorin had ever seen react that way in similar circumstances were those from Erebor. Those that had seen a dragon and still somehow lived.

So Thorin did not lose hope in the little gentle creature that Gandalf had decided to hire.

"Balin," he said to the old dwarf after the rest of his company had finished packing and were currently setting up the ponies. "Come and sign this."

Balin raised a brow, but did as he was told, signing his name just under the king's on the contract they had given to Master Baggins. "You think that he will come, then?" the old dwarf asked.

"Consider it a gamble," Thorin shrugged.

"Then Master Boggins will come!" Kili grinned from the doorway. Thorin had no clue how long his youngest nephew had been standing there, but he supposed that he really should have expected it. "I knew it! Fili and I already set up all the bets."

Thorin raised a disapproving brow at his nephew, their mother was very against their gambling and would have thrashed Thorin if she knew he let it go on within his company, but did nothing more. They knew not to include him in their shenanigans, so he allowed them to do as they pleased as long as it wasn't detrimental to the quest. Kili, however, didn't even look like he registered the disapproval before heading off to find his brother without telling his uncle whatever is was that he came to say. Luckily, Thorin could easily guess that he just wanted to let them know that the ponies were ready.

"I think I might get in on that betting pool," Balin grinned. "I might even put in double if you'd be willing to lend me the coins," which Thorin knew actually meant that his advisor was offering to get him in on the betting as well. As a king, he was expected to act above all that and never bet anything unless absolutely necessary, but his advisor had no such expectations and who's to say that the money Thorin slipped to Balin wasn't just a loan.

* * *

Leaving the Hobbit's hole in the hill was actually much more difficult than Thorin really thought it had the right to be. He kept finding himself looking back as a growing sense of unease came over him. It must be because they were leaving the last bit of peace that they would experience for quite some time, he told himself.

He had no excuse, then, for why all the tension that he hadn't even realized he was feeling the farther away they got suddenly disappeared the moment he heard Master Baggins calling out for them to wait while he ran towards them with a full pack and the contract flapping behind where he was holding it above his head.

"I've signed it," the hobbit said as he handed the paper to Balin who examined it for a moment before declaring that Bilbo Baggins was officially part of their company.

"Get him a pony," Thorin said, completely ignoring the hobbit's protests as he turned to set off again. They were finally ready to go.


	2. The Misty Mountains Call: Fili's First Memory

"Dragon!" At first Fili thought it was all part of the game. He and Uncle Haran were playing. He was hiding and his Uncle was trying to coax him out with crazy things like dragons. Everyone knew those creatures didn't exist anymore. His mama had told him that and she said that he had absolutely nothing to fear from him. His Uncles would be proud of him for not giving in to fear to come out of his amazing hiding spot.

Then there were screams and people running and utter chaos. Something was seriously wrong and Fili cried out. He didn't like this game anymore. Right now he just wanted to be in his Uncle's arms.

"Fili!" he could only just barely hear Uncle Haran's frantic voice calling out to him and that just cemented the fear that was quickly growing inside of him. "Fili!"

"Uncle!" he cried out. He tried to pull himself out from beneath the table, but anything that left the relative safety of the table was either kicked away or stepped on with heavy boots. It only served to make him cry harder and he sat back on his haunches to just let himself bawl. His Uncle was never going to find him when his hiding place was so good and he couldn't come out of it with all the people running around him.

Suddenly Fili felt himself being tugged into someone's arms and he clung to that person even before he realized that it was Uncle Haran. Whoever had keen enough eyes to find and save him was very good in Fili's book and it was even better that it was his own Uncle that had found him. He buried his face into Uncle Haran's neck, feeling the soft beard against his cheek calm him, while his Uncle ran. He had nothing to worry about now that Uncle Haran was there to protect him.

Fili stayed like that for some time, but then he heard his mother calling to him and he looked around for her. His Uncle was just fine for comforting him, but there was no comparison to his mother's embrace. The only problem was that no matter where he looked, he could not figure out which direction the voice was coming from. At least, not until Uncle Haran leaned over the railing of the walkway they were on and called out to his mother.

Down below them, Fili finally spotted his mama right as she came to a stop and looked up at them. Her face was filled with worry that made Fili shiver. His mama wasn't supposed to be scared of anything. He opened his mouth to call out to his mother, knowing better than to reach out to her with such a difference between them, but Uncle Haran's voice came first with a frantic call of "Run!" before he was off again. Fili cried out when he lost sight of his mother, but he did not try to break free. Uncle Haran would take care of him until he was able to find his mama again.

Everything was a blur after that. Fili couldn't see anything through his tears even if he had lifted his head from his Uncle's shoulders, but he knew that he didn't really want to see it. The only thing that he would see would be the fearful looks from the people as they fled, but he had nothing to fear because Uncle Haran would take care of him.

He did, however, hear his Uncle calling out for everyone to take cover and he felt an indescribable heat so close to his back that it was nearly burning him and he smelt a disgusting burning smell of flesh set on fire. More than anything, though, Fili heard the agonized scream of his Uncle right beside his ear. Maybe, if Fili had been a braver little dwarfling, he might have looked up to see the horrible damage that had been done, but his Uncle continued out of the mountain so he chose not to worry about it.

Everything would be okay because his Uncle was there to protect him.

* * *

Hours later, Fili woke held against his Uncle's warm body. It was cold and dark, but not the usual cold that sometimes filled the mountain in the night. This was a different type of cold that Fili had never felt before. There was a little bit of heat emanating from behind him and a blanket of fur that he knew was actually his Uncle's coat wrapped around him, but he still felt the cold.

When he looked around he didn't recognize the area that they were in, nor did he recognize anyone that sat around him. He turned to ask his Uncle just what was going on, but screamed when he saw how badly marred Uncle Haran's other side was. For a moment, he didn't recognize his own Uncle, but then Uncle Haran shifted so that Fili could only see the uninjured side of his face. He could still see the destroyed arm, but at least now he knew that it was indeed Uncle Haran. "What's going on?" he sobbed as he buried his face into his Uncle's shoulder.

"A dragon drove us out of Erebor," Uncle Haran smiled as soothingly as he could, but Fili could see the pain behind it. That just made him ball even more and his Uncle rocked back and forth until he was calm once more.

"Are you okay?" Fili sniffled.

"I just got burned a bit," Uncle Haran replied.

"But why haven't you been treated yet? Uncle Thorin says that when you get hurt you have to treat it as soon as possible."

"That he did," Uncle Haran said, "but there aren't very many healers and they're busy dealing with the other injured."

"No," Fili said wriggling out of his Uncle's hold. "You need to be treated now. I'll go find a healer and bring one to you."

"Fili!" Uncle Haran called out after him, struggling to stand and give chase, but Fili continued nonetheless. Uncle Thorin said that booboos and burns needed to be treated as soon as possible. Booboos could be healed with a simple kiss, but burns needed more. There was a special salve that they kept in their rooms for burns, but Fili didn't have any on him so he had to find a healer. Unfortunately, he didn't even know what the healers looked like so he kept having to go to the dwarves and ask if they were one.

It took far too long, but finally Fili tugged on someone's shirt, asked if they were a healer and received a yes in response. The old dwarf tried to kneel and ask him where he was hurt, but Fili simply pulled him back towards where he had come babbling about how his Uncle needed the special salve for burns.

"Mahal!" the healer gasped when they came upon Uncle Haran who was looking for Fili among the different groups of dwarves.

"I'm so sorry," Uncle Haran gasped as he took Fili back into his good arm. "I'll keep a better eye on him from now on."

"You shouldn't be moving around at all!" the Healer admonished, quickly pulling him to their campfire where Uncle Haran's furs still sat. "Why haven't you seen a healer before now?"

"I did," Uncle Haran sighed as he lowered himself back onto the ground. "They said it wasn't worth wasting their medicine."

"Wasn't worth-?!" the Healer cut himself off as he quickly went into his pack to pull out different jars and a roll of white cloth. "If I ever get my hands on those-! You have a child! Surely they could have treated you for his sake! And you've lasted this long without it! Not worth their medicine. I'll give those Healers a piece of my mind when I find them." He continued to mutter like that while treating Uncle Haran's wounds until Fili fell asleep once more, still exhausted from all that had happened.

* * *

Days passed by with them on the road as they looked for a new place to call home, but they still hadn't found Fili's mother or Uncle Thorin like Uncle Haran had promised. Some days he would miss them so much that he would start crying or even throw a fit so that they would quicken their pace, but then Uncle Haran would look so guilty and he would quickly become pained and strained, so Fili did that less and less. That didn't stop him from asking questions, though.

"What if mama didn't make it, Uncle?" he asked one night when they had stopped to rest. It had been a hard day for Uncle Haran and he was currently more of that special salve on his burns with a pained look on his face.

"We don't know that she didn't," Uncle Haran said with his strained smile. "Now you must get some sleep."

Fili frowned at that, though. He had been having nightmares all the time lately. Some of them were about his mama dying. Some were about either of his Uncles being burned by the dragon's fires and not surviving. But most of them were about a little dark haired dwarfling that looked a lot like Uncle Thorin being cut down by orcs or eaten by wargs or burned to death by a dragon. Those nightmares, especially, always had him waking up screaming. Uncle Haran was always there to sooth him back into sleep, but that didn't make him dread it any less.

"I don't want to," he whined even as his eyes drooped and sleep threatened to claim him.

"What if I sing you a song?" Uncle Haran asked as he pulled Fili into his lap after putting the special salve back in their bag. Fili nodded and got comfortable as his Uncle opened his mouth and began to sing a song that he had never heard before.

_Far over the misty mountains cold_

_To dungeons deep and caverns old_

_We must away ere break of day_

_To seek the pale enchanted gold_

_The dwarves of yore made might spells_

_While hammers fell like ringing bells_

_In places deep, where dark things sleep_

_In hollow halls beneath the fells_

Fili fell asleep listening to that music, but this time he dreamt of the little dwarfling all grown up and going on an epic quest with him.

From that night on Fili could only dream if his uncle sang that special song so he asked for it as often as he could. It also made him a lot calmer during the day. Because of that he was able to notice just how tired his uncle was getting. The dwarf was quickly getting more and more exhausted. Fili was getting tired too, but he made sure to spend less and less time in Uncle Haran's arms so that he could retain his strength. The Healer had told him that his uncle needed to keep up as much strength as he possibly could for him to get over his burns.

That's why, when Uncle Haran beckoned him over so that he could pick him up, Fili refused.

"Excuse me," one of the dwarf ladies said as she moved a bit closer to them. Fili clung to his uncle's furs when she came up to them. It wasn't because he was afraid of her, but he was afraid that she might separate them. He didn't want to lose the only relative that he actually knew was there. "If you'd like, the little one can ride in the cart for a little while." Fili looked over at the cart and he wanted very much to do what she asked, but he didn't want to leave Uncle Haran on his own. When he looked up at his uncle, though, the dwarf leant over and picked him up to put him on the cart.

"You should get some rest, Fili," he said.

"Will you sing to me uncle?" Fili asked, not wanting to go to sleep without his special song. This time, though, when Uncle Haran started singing, Fili sang with him.

_Far over the misty mountains cold_

_To dungeons deep and caverns old_

_We must away ere break of day_

_To seek the pale enchanted gold_

_The dwarves of yore made mighty spells_

_While hammers fell like ringing bells_

_In places deep, where dark things sleep_

_In hollow halls beneath the fells_

And so did all of the dwarves nearby. Then more and more until everyone was singing and Fili's eyes slipped closed to be greeted with the face of that young dwarf looking to share in an adventure.

_Far over the misty mountains grim_

_To dungeons deep and caverns dim_

_We must away, ere break of day_

_To win our harps and gold from him!_


	3. The Battle of Moria: Thorin's Loss

"Noooo!" Thorin yelled as Azog held the king's head up for anyone and everyone to see , his grandfather had gone insane with gold lust and started shirking on his duties as king, but that didn't make him love him any less. He may have set them all out to a battle that was sure to cost them many lives, but that didn't mean he deserved to die. He was a good man away from the gold and he just wanted to give his people a home to call their own. Yet, Azog had killed him and beheaded him to show as some sort of gruesome trophy. It made Thorin want to be sick.

Thorin could almost feel as his people lost hope, but he didn't care. He set his sights on taking down the orc who killed his grandfather. He readied himself to run into battle, but his father stood in front of him. "Father?" he asked, wondering why he would stop him from avenging the king.

"Stay back!" Thrain demanded.

"No," Thorin replied. "I will fight with you."

"Azog means to kill us all," Thrain continued, holding his son back. "One by one he will destroy the line of Durin, but by my life, he shall not take my son. You will stay here."

Thorin wanted more than anything to go with his father, but something else caught his attention that made him hold back. Thrain had said that Azog meant to destroy the line of Durin and, while he wasn't one by blood, Haran could still be considered part of that line through marriage. He had lost sight of Haran some time ago through all this madness, despite promising to protect him, and had been looking for him among the dead and the living. Thorin was desperate to find his soul mate now and that was the only thing that was stopping him from following his father.

That is until he finally caught sight of Haran fighting very near to where Azog stood. There was no sign of his father, but he couldn't think of that anymore. Not when Haran turned to him after looking at Azog and a look came to his eyes that made Thorin even more frantic. That look spoke of a deep fear mixed with his own type of desperate determination. But, most of all, it spoke of a dwarf who knew he was heading to his death.

Thorin redoubled his efforts to get to his husband, pushing dwarf and orc aside where he could and quickly taking out any orc that would not simply move out of his way, but it was already too late. Haran turned back to The Defiler, held his sword high with his one good arm, and stepped before Azog before he could hurt any more dwarves.

Azog laughed and said something that Thorin could not hear over the cries of battle, but his face quickly turned into a scowl with whatever Haran said in return. Thorin almost laughed at the fact that, of course, his husband would taunt his death like that. He couldn't though, as he watched Azog raise his weapon from where he got caught up by several orcs in his way. If he hadn't gotten stuck there, he might have been able to block the attacks, to stop his husband from facing off against the pale orc in the first place. Instead, he could only watch as The Defiler brought his weapon down again and again until his soul mate's good arm snapped under the pressure. The agonized scream that left his love's mouth would haunt his dreams for many years, he knew, but not nearly as much as the sight the followed soon after.

"No!" Thorin screamed, finally defeating the last of the orcs between him and his soul mate, but it was already too late. Azog planted the huge mace-like weapon into Haran's chest and the impact sent his One flying.

Perhaps it was grief that had him frozen in his place until Azog had knocked the shield off his arm and the sword out of his hand. Whatever it was, it did not last long enough to stop him from jumping off the ledge that he was standing on in order to dodge what would have been a fatal blow. Azog jumped after him and he grabbed the only thing close enough to him to use as a shield. It was nothing more than an oaken branch, but none of the blows the pale orc sent his way pierced the wood.

Thorin could feel his bones straining under the weight, though, and the last hit had him falling to his knees. He needed a sword or he wouldn't last much longer. There was a sword nearby him and he grabbed without a thought, bringing it up while Azog brought his own weapon down. The sword did not fail him. It cut off The Defiler's arm without a moment to loose.

Thorin watched as Azog the Defiler fell to his knees, screaming in pain. It was a very satisfying feeling to watch that disgusting creature go down. That is, until he realized just whose sword his was holding. He would recognize Haran's sword anywhere, especially since he had created for his soul mate during their courting.

Thorin Oakenshield, as they would start to call him after this day, had no more time for this mere orc, he had to find his soul mate before it was too late.

"Haran!" he called out, trying to ignore the sudden emptiness in his chest. He knew what it meant, but he refused to believe it. His love could not be dead.

There he lay, though, watching Thorin's battle with open, but unseeing eyes. "Noooo!" Thorin screamed. This time was much more pain-filled then the others and it seemed that the whole battlefield parted at the sound of it as he ran to his soul mate. He fell to his knees and gathered the lifeless dwarf into his arms, still screaming. A dwarf came to stand above him and protect him, Dwalin he thought, but he paid no attention to the other. He could only rock back and forth with his love in his arms screaming as the emptiness filled him.

He couldn't stay there long, though. With both his father and his grandfather dead or missing, it was left for him to take charge and lead them in the battle. "I'll come back for you," he whispered into Haran's ear, gently placing the man on the ground and wiping away his tears. Then he stood up, yelled the best battle cry he could muster, and charged. He was going to kill any and all orcs he could get his hands on.

* * *

The battle was won, but Thorin couldn't find any happiness in it. Neither could any of the other dwarves who were searching the battlefield for their loved ones. Some of them bowed to him or congratulated him about the battle having been won because of him, but he paid no notice to any of them. He was searching for loved ones himself. Thrain was gone, someone had told him, and he should stop looking for him, but Thorin hadn't been looking for his father. At least not specifically, he would have been happy to find the dwarf, but he was more concerned about finding his one.

The battlefield looked so different now. He couldn't even find where he had left his loved one. He had already broken his promise to keep his soul mate safe and now it was looking more and more likely that he would be breaking his promise to return to the dwarf as well. But he wouldn't let that happen. He would search these grounds for years if he had to.

"Thorin!" someone called to him, probably Dwalin as he and Balin were the only dwarves who would dare to call him so informally right then. "Over here!"

He didn't want to abandon his search quite yet, but Thorin knew that he couldn't ignore the call of his people. Besides, Dwalin wouldn't have called him if it weren't important, so he went to the dwarf and helped him move a pile of dead orcs. He gasped at what he saw underneath them.

It was Haran.

Dwalin turned away as their new King fell to the ground and wept at his One's side. Just as he had done during the battle, he would watch the dwarf's back while Thorin cried. He would protect his king even as his fought off tears of his own. Prince Haran had been a good and kind prince and the Blue Mountains would feel his loss almost as keenly as Thorin did.


	4. Separation and Reunion: Dis's Boys

Dis sat cradling her youngest son as close to her as possible. She was still in pain after giving birth to the little treasure and the healer, not Oin even though she would have much preferred him because the royal healer still hasn't shown up, is still washing her and her baby, but she didn't pay any mind to it.

"What will you name it if it's a girl?" Thorin had asked before her pregnant stomach had forced her to retreat to a healer's cart while he was forced to stay with their father and grandfather.

"I do not know," she had answered.

"What if it's a boy?" he asked.

"Kili," she said firmly.

"After Vili?"

"And Fili." Her husband was dead, she could feel the emptiness deep in her heart, and she had yet to see her first-born so she could only assume he was gone too.

"Fili will return soon enough," Thorin replied soothingly.

"How do you know?"

"You said he was with Haran." Thorin had yet to complain about the emptiness as she had and she thought that it might have been because he was being strong for their people, but then she knew that was not the case. Haran survived and that meant that Fili did too. She would see them eventually.

"You're brother will be so happy to meet you, Kili," she said to the little one she now held in her arms. "He didn't stop talking about you the whole time we were in Erebor. He wanted to be here for your birth, but he will be happy to have you once he returns."

Kili reached out of the little bundle of cloth the healer had swaddled him in and tugged on one of her braids. It was the one that she had plaited in her air when she had survived giving birth to Fili, as was customary for dwarf-ladies who always had a hard time giving birth, and Kili clung to it like it was a life-line.

"I can already tell that the two of you are going to be really close, and because of that I will put your braid right next to his," she laughed, trying to remove his hand because the tugging was getting a bit painful, but he didn't budge. "I promise that you will see him soon." At least that is what she hoped because she would very much like to see her son too.

* * *

It was only a few days later, though, that Dis was woken one day in the healers' cart by the sound of her littlest one. It wasn't the first time that he had woken her as babies are want to do, but this time was far, far worst. She wasn't woken to the sound of his crying like she usually was, but, instead, to him wheezing and flailing in his little bundle.

"Help!" she gasped as she pulled him up into her arms in a way that she hoped would help him breathe, but everything she tried failed.

The healer who manned this cart quickly scrambled inside even as it was still moving. He opened his mouth to ask what was the matter, but then he noticed Kili and went to work immediately. "This isn't good," he frowned after he had made sure that Dis was holding the child in the best way for him to breathe easiest. He placed his hand on the little one's head and then shook his own. "Not good at all."

Dis felt her whole world crumbling as she watched the healer try everything that he could think of without any success. She had already lost her husband and she had no clue where her first-born was and now it seemed that she wouldn't even be able to have her youngest for very much longer. Hadn't the dragon taken enough from her already?

"I am sorry," the healer looks to the ground as he collapses on the seat across from her.

"No!" she gasped, holding her baby tight.

"It seems that the Sickness has found your son."

"Then he will fall into the Sleep?" That gave her a little hope. She had watched Haran suffer through the Sickness, though she hadn't known that's what it was at first, and then he fell into the Sleep. He had survived it, so maybe it was possible that her son would too.

"I'm sorry," the healer says again, this time looking into her eyes so that she can see just how serious he is, "but he will not survive long enough to fall into the Sleep."

Dis' world crashed around her at those words. "What?"

"Usually, when a person suffers the sickness for too long, they fall into the Sleep," the healer explains with a sympathetic expression, "where they will die a peaceful death," if they don't have their soul mate, Dis supplied unconsciously, "but we have found that young children and babies do not survive the sickness. It hits them harder than the adults and they cannot handle it."

"Then, there's nothing you can do for him?" Dis asked. The realization that her young son wouldn't survive much longer had tears coming to her eyes much quicker than the loss of her husband. She had cried when she felt his loss, but she hadn't been there to see him fall and had been too busy worrying about taking care of the young son in her belly. She had also known that she would have a piece of Vili with her in the form of Kili, but now she was losing him too. It was like losing them both at once.

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but this type of fever can only be cured by the soul mate. No one of his age and who has yet to experience the Reunion has ever survived it." The healer reached over and patted her arm soothingly, but she didn't pay any notice to it.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered to the young one in her arms. "I'm so sorry that I couldn't protect you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She couldn't even keep her promise that the little one would see his older brother very soon.

Suddenly, Dis heard a clamor as someone else climbed into the cart. She turned to them, holding her baby close just in case it was someone who wished harm on them, and was shocked at what she saw. "Fili!" she gasped as he scrambled up to her. Fili was alive! Fili was there! Fili was okay!

Fili was paying absolutely no attention to her as he reached out to try to take the child from her arms. Instinct had her pulling the little one away. Kili was already not long for this world and she wanted to hold him to her until she couldn't anymore. She didn't want her eldest to accidentally drop or otherwise hurt the little one when he was already suffering so much.

She was even more shocked when Fili, her beloved son, glared up at her like she was some horrible orc. What had she done to deserve such a look as that? Was he mad at her for leaving him in the mountain?

"Fili, if you sit down I'm sure your mother will let you hold him," someone said from outside the cart and Dis had to stop herself from gasping when she saw just who it was. Thorin had been right about Haran surviving, but surely he didn't know about just what the dwarf had to go through. He looked like he was in horrible and constant pain with the burns spread across half his face and the entirety of one arm, but his good eye remained fierce and kind throughout it all. She had to look away once she had taken it all in because she just couldn't bear to see him like that. She would get used to it, though, for Haran's sake, but she knew it would take some time.

Fili was already sitting cross-legged on the cart floor when she turned back to him, holding his arms up and out so that he could receive the small child in her arms. He must really want to hold his little brother, Dis realized, and she glanced at Haran who nodded before carefully placing the little one in his lap. It wouldn't have been fair for her to hoard her youngest son in his last hours. Especially when she had promised the little one that he would get to meet his older brother.

Almost immediately, her little baby's wheezing began to subside as Fili held him in his arms and rocked back and forth to calm the crying that had been trying to escape past the wheezing. Once both had subsided, little Kili opened his eyes and began to giggle as he yanked on Fili's hair and play with Fili's fingers.

"The Reunion!" the healer gasped. "This is a miracle."

Dis gaped down at her two sons. A miracle? This was so much more than a miracle. This was a blessing. Not only had she got her eldest back from a dragon's fire thanks to the sacrifice of her brother-in-law, but Fili had saved her little baby just by holding onto him.

Suddenly, Dis couldn't help but laugh. She should have known that her two sons were destined for each other the moment Fili had gotten so possessive over her ever-growing stomach. Sometimes she couldn't even move two steps away form him without him complaining about it. Of course Kili had just been upset that the one he was supposed to spend his entire life with wasn't there for his first few days.

"Thank Mahal," she muttered, pulling both her boys into her arms. "Thank you."


	5. Rejection: Thorin's First Meeting

Thorin was bored. Just sitting here watching his brother and sister spar gave him almost no amusement. The only thing that he really enjoyed of the whole thing was pointing out all their flaws, but even that was starting to get boring since he found himself pointing out the same things over and over again.

If only Dwalin were there, Thorin would actually be able to amuse himself by sparring with his good friend. He would win, of course, since he had started learning his weapons earlier because he was the older of the two. It was getting to be the same old thing over and over again, too. Dwalin kept learning new things and trying to catch him off his guard with them, but it always came to the same thing.

Thorin just wanted a challenge.

Suddenly, his attention was distracted by two people entering the training grounds. Outwardly he continued to correct his brother and sister so that it didn't seem like he was interested in them, but he made sure to also position himself so that they would remain in his sight the whole time they were in the room.

The first dwarf he recognized. Master Vorin was a good friend with his father as well as being one of the chief guards alongside Master Fundin, Dwalin's father. Thorin had once tried to ask the dwarf to spar with him, but the Master Vorin only laughed and said that he would be glad to once Thorin had more experience under his belt. Of course Thorin wasn't happy with that at all, but he knew not to disrespect his father's friend by trying to force him.

The other dwarf, though, Thorin did not recognize. He was obviously younger than Master Vorin and looked like he might have been one of the guards' two sons. The prince had already met the older of the two, Taran he thought his name was, when he entered the guard, but he only just now met the younger. From what he had overheard of his father and Master Vorin, Thorin decided that Haran was much more interested in books and learning than anything truly useful like learning how to protect one's people. People like that annoyed the prince, but he chose not to hold out judgment until he truly met the other.

Besides, Haran was actually a particularly attractive dwarf. He already had long black hair and was quickly growing a beard, which Thorin was a little jealous about since his grew so slowly. His hazel eyes, which seemed to turn dark blue when he looked in different directions, were hard and piercing. Those eyes trailed over the entirety of the room and then over the royal children before settling on the two sparring partners and Thorin could tell he was also marking all the things his siblings were doing wrong. Perhaps this dwarf was not such a lost cause after all.

"There's no need to push them so hard, Prince Thorin," Master Vorin said after Thorin corrected his siblings for the same things  _again._

Dis, distracted by the newcomer, turned without paying attention to their brother whom she was supposed to be fighting. Thorin was already starting to rise, pulling out his sword to block his brother from any accidental damage, but luckily Frerin pulled back just in time to allow their sister to dodge away before giving him a menacing glare. Thorin glared at her, though, because it was her fault that she almost got injured and he opened his mouth to scold her, but she was already not paying attention to either of them. She was too busy skipping over to greet their visitors to care about her almost injury. Thorin watched her go with a scowl and was not surprised to see Master Vorin's hand slipping off his sword after grabbing it with the same intention as Thorin had.

He was surprised, however, to see the glint of metal slip back into the young dwarf's sleeve. He realized that Haran must be carrying knives on his person and reached for those readily in times of danger despite the sword that hung on his hip. You could find out a lot about a creature by their weaponry, but Thorin wasn't really sure what this told him about Haran. The dwarf was just an oddity that the prince didn't understand. Thorin did not like not understanding people. It made them untrustworthy because they could be very unpredictable. Haran did go for his knives in defense of the princess, though, so that at least was a plus for the dwarf.

"What brings you here today?" Dis asked. "I heard you were taking the day off."

"I was just showing my youngest son around," Master Vorin said. Thorin remembered overhearing about how his father's friend had high hopes of convincing his youngest son to be a guard just like himself and the eldest, but it didn't seem like Haran was very interested in it.

"Haran, at your service," the youngest son of Vorin introduced himself with a respectable bow. He had manners then, so that was good.

Suddenly, Thorin realized that he was sizing the new dwarf up and not as a possible opponent. He had heard that this could happen when two soul mates first meet. When the bond is strong enough, one or both of the pair feels immediately attracted to the other. Thorin scowled at the simple thought of it. There was no way a dwarf who was more interested in books than an actual craft could be  _his_ soul mate.

Dis bounded over to the two of them and held out her hand. Thorin had to hold back his growl of frustration at his sister's antics. True, she had every right to offer a hand to anyone that she met, but she was still too young to really be seeking out her One. It, of course, had nothing to do with the little bit of jealousy that was growing in his heart that she was so close to the other. He couldn't feel jealous over someone that was not his One anyway.

Thorin was shocked again when Haran didn't immediately take Dis' hand. Most dwarrows would have taken the hand immediately in a desperate bid to try to bind themselves to royalty, but Haran hesitated. Instead he looked at his father, who gave him a look, before taking the hand with a barely noticeable grimace on his face.

Thankfully, his grimace was replaced by a look of relief while Dis' own fell. Then Frerin went up to him with his hand out and the process repeated itself with the same results. Haran looked over at Thorin, but the prince simply pretended that he was not watching the other. There was no way that dwarf was his One so there was no point in going over there to try it.

"Come and train with us," Dis suggested suddenly and Thorin really wanted to hit her atop her head. It was one thing to go up to a complete stranger and let them touch her, but now she wanted the same stranger to be in a ring with her where they both had weapons. Not happening. Not if Thorin has anything to say about it. "Thorin hasn't had a challenge yet that he couldn't beat."

Well, at least that was a little better. Besides, now Thorin could prove to himself that this dwarf was certainly not meant for him. If Haran could not beat Thorin than he did not have a place beside him.

"I'd rather not," Haran replied, bowing his head in apology.

Suddenly, Thorin felt really angry. He was looking forward to a possible challenge. Not that he thought Haran would be a challenge, but it would at least be different so he didn't have to be bored anymore. But, no, that guard's son would deny him this. "Are you so weak, Haran son of Vorin, that you will not face me?" He brought up the name of his father, who was widely known as one of the best fighters besides Prince Thrain and the guard Fundin, in the hopes that it would convince the other to join him or dishonor his father. Apparently that was not the case.

Haran turned to him with a scowl that Thorin did not like on his face and spoke words that the prince truly wasn't expecting. "Perhaps I believe that you, Thorin son of Thrain," the prince did not miss the fact that the other didn't mention his title, "are too weak to face me."

The guard's son turned to leave, but Thorin was not going to let an insult like that slide. He quickly stood, marched over to the other before Haran even got a few step, and yanked him back to face him. The feeling of completeness felt so much better than anything anyone had ever described to Thorin, but it caught him completely off guard. He had been adamantly rejecting the possibility of this guard's son being his intended and yet here was feeling the Reunion.

"You are my intended?" he growled. Thorin did not like to be wrong on a normal basis, but this time was just too much. How could the Valar choose someone so weak to be his soul mate? "A weak dwarf like you who cannot even fight has no place amongst royalty." Because royalty needed to be able to protect their people. He did not need, nor did he want, some softhearted dwarrow who would cower at the mere thought of a battle.

Haran's face twisted into a pained grimace for a moment before it disappeared to be replaced by a polite smile. Thorin had to fight back a grimace of his own. No matter what words he said, he did not want to hurt this dwarf. He just didn't think he would thrive with the royal family.

"Yes, well, then I suppose that we must part ways for now," Haran said with another respectable bow. Thorin could tell that the other was picking his words carefully, he had been in enough meetings with his father and grandfather to be able to see something like that, and it just made him feel more guilty for causing the other pain. It was no matter, though. Haran could just go off and fall in love with someone else who would be more suited to him. Thorin had heard of soul mates with weak bonds doing that.

As Thorin watched Haran go, he knew in his heart that there was no way the other would try to find someone else.

 


	6. Separation and Reunion, Rejection, Apologies: Fili and Kili begin to Understand

“Fili, Kili, look after the ponies,” Uncle Thorin said. Fili never understood how his uncle was able to decide how exactly to give out the tasks when they stopped for the night, but it was always fair even though Fili was certainly not looking forward to looking after the smelly ponies. They already spent quite enough time with them, having to ride them all day, and he was not looking forward to having to spend dinner with them as well. At least their uncle hadn’t separated them. He knew well enough that they always worked better together. In fact, he always claimed to Fili in when they were alone that everyone was better when they were with their soulmate, though his eyes are always sad ever since Uncle Haran died.

Kili headed out to the ponies with surprisingly little complaint. He would never complain to Thorin about his duties, but he did often at least whine about it all to Fili if he wasn’t looking forward to it. That is, as long as he wasn’t planning something. “What are you up to?” Fili asked when they got out of hearing range for the rest of the dwarves. He both hoped for and dreaded another prank. They already got in enough trouble for trying to scare Master Baggins and it hadn’t even worked like they wanted.

“Will you braid my hair?” Kili asked. His hair never stayed in the braids that Fili put in, especially since he didn’t really wear beads, though Fili really wanted to put one of his own beads in his little brother’s hair to show that they were in fact soulmates and Kili was not up for grabs. Fili always hated watching people try to touch his brother with and without his consent to see if they were his Intended. Still, Kili was always calmed by having his hair braided and it helped him think. “I’ll sharpen your blades while you do.”

“Of course little brother,” Fili nodded. He felt a little bad that he encouraged this behavior with his brother as both those things were big parts of courting and he really shouldn’t be doing them when Kili didn’t know any better, but he didn’t want to loose these moments just because he could see himself confessing to his brother any time soon. “What’s on your mind,” he asked when they were situated and the movements had calmed some of the tension in his Intended’s body. Kili was usually an active fun-loving person, but, when he became subdued in thought, all of that activeness would gather into tension.

“It’s Master Boggins,” Kili said. Fili grinned at that. His baby brother knew quite well that it was actually Baggins, but he insisted on pronouncing it wrong just to annoy their little hobbit burglar. Kili fell quite, but Fili knew that he still had more to say, so pressed for more. “He reminds me of Uncle Haran.”

Fili froze. Uncle Haran was somewhat of a banned topic in their home. It’s not that they didn’t often remember him with fond memories, but nobody really talked about him. Especially not around Uncle Thorin. Kili was a close second for that because he had been so close to Uncle Haran, but now Fili understood why Kili was so eager to leave the group.

“Why do you say that?” he finally asked, starting back up on his work.

“I don’t know,” Kili shrugged. “Just, every now and again, I’ll see something that he does and it’ll remind me of Uncle Haran. Did you know that Uncle always loved ponies, but he didn’t like riding them because he was allergic?”

“I didn’t know,” Fili shook his head even though Kili couldn’t see him, “but a lot of people have reactions to horse hair.”

“I know,” Kili nodded slightly so that he wouldn’t yank his hair from his brother’s grasp. “I can’t really explain it.”

“Don’t worry about it brother,” Fili said wrapping his arms around his brother to give him a calming hug.

“I’m not worried,” Kili said. “It’s actually kind of nice to have him around again. I’ve missed him.”

“We all have,” Fili replied. “Now, who should we prank next?” They needed a change of subject now that Kili had all that off his chest, his swords were overly-sharpened, and they were heading to actually do as they were told.

“Oh!” Kili grinned, back to himself again. “Definitely Bofur! I have a perfect idea.” And he immediately launched into the explanation of the perfect prank to play on their favorite hatted dwarf. He always had the craziest reactions that Kili loved to laugh at.

Both brothers stopped midstep and Kili came to an abrupt stop when they came upon their ponies and found a downed tree that most certainly hadn’t been like that before they set their ponies there. They counted to ponies once, twice, and thrice, but still came out with two ponies short.

They heard someone coming towards them from their camp, probably to bring them dinner, and they looked at each other with the same thought on their mind.

_We’re in so much trouble._

* * *

 

Luckily enough, it was Master Baggins that brought their food to them. He held the bowls out to each of them, but neither actually took the food, just waiting for the hobbit to explode and scold them for losing the ponies. Mahal knows that their uncle was going to do just that and their mother would have been quick to join them if she was there.

“What’s the matter?” their hobbit asked suspiciously.

Fili and Kili immediately launched into an explanation that two of the ponies had somehow gone missing, making sure to sound completely sure of themselves so that the hobbit wouldn’t even think to blame them. Of course, then Bilbo had to suggest that they tell their Uncle and that was just asking for them to get told off, which they were not looking forward to. So, instead, they sent a small little hobbit to face three trolls and rescue four ponies.

It probably wasn’t their best plan and it ended just as well as one could have expected. It would have ended much worse, they knew if they hadn’t decided to tell the rest of the company after all. They might not have a burglar at this point if they hadn’t.

But Bilbo was amazing. He somehow outwitted the trolls for just long enough for the creatures to be turned to stone. And, to think, they weren’t even sure if they should have brought a hobbit along at all.

* * *

 

By the time they got to the cave, Fili and Kili just wanted to be done with the whole troll nonsense. Balin had scolded them for not thinking things through before sending Bilbo into danger, Dwalin had glared at them the whole way and had said that he would have them working extra hard on their routine practices, which they were perfectly aware was just a punishment, and Thorin had all but yelled at them for the entire mess. And this was all during the trek to the troll’s cave, which really wasn’t that far from the stone trolls.

Even though they wanted nothing more to do with it, however, they knew that there was one more thing they had to do first. Uncle Haran was always making sure they apologized when they did something wrong and this was definitely one of those moments.

They waited until Bilbo stood by himself just outside the mouth of the cave before approaching him. “We’re terribly sorry, Master Burglar,” they said in unison just as they always had from the moment Kili could talk. It always surprised people when they were in perfect unison, even saying the same things, but Fili knew better than that even if Kili didn’t. It was because of their connection; how closely bonded they were as Soul mates. He could practically hear Kili’s thoughts if he just paid enough attention.

“Yes, well,” said Bilbo with a voice that would have sounded agreeable had Fili and Kili not learned to be cautious of such a tone from Uncle Haran, “Had you thought it through, you might have realized that even if I had gotten the ponies free without being caught, the trolls would have noticed that they were leaving. Either way, there was no getting out of there undetected.” Of course Bilbo was right and Fili and Kili looked at each other bashfully, but he was not finished. “Of course, I didn’t think of it either, so I can’t be too angry at you, but you have to remember that I’m not used to adventures and I wouldn’t have a reason to think of such things with the quickness that is required while in danger.”

Before anything more could be said or any more apologies could be given, Uncle Thorin came back out of the cave and Gandalf soon after, catching Bilbo’s attention. Fili gave the hobbit a questioning look as he went. Perhaps his judgment was being affected by Kili’s earlier statements about the hobbit, but Bilbo acted very much like their deceased uncle just then. Almost uncannily so, which was weird as they had never met anyone quite like their uncle before during any of their travels.

It couldn’t be?

Could it?


	7. Apologies: Thorin Watches

Thorin watched from he seat at the dinning table Dis pace angrily through the kitchen, looking for her sons. They had, apparently, stolen the cookies that she was hoping to treat them with after dinner. He should really be working on the paperwork that comes with ruling his people, but he just couldn't pull his attention to them, so instead he watched his irate teacher.

"What on Earth is the matter?" Haran asked as he came into the room and sat next to Thorin, pulling some of the papers from the king's pile and starting in on them as though he had been there the whole time.

"I'm going to kill my boys," Dis sighed, plopping herself down at the table in an attempt to calm herself down while also having a civil conversation.

"Uh oh," Haran said, looking up at Dis with one of his best calming smiles. There were very few people who could stay angry when Haran had a mind to calm them. Thorin smirked. There was just something about his husband that was soothing to others. "What did they do now?"

"They stole my cookies!" Dis slammed her hand on the table. She was, apparently, determined not to be calmed without at least some protest on her part.

"Oh dear!" Haran jumped. It was fake, of course. Thorin could always tell when his husband was just acting. He was pretty sure that it was an attribute of their bond, though, because his One was actually a very good actor. "I'm so sorry. I gave them the cookies," he said with an apologetic look.

Thorin had to stop himself from rolling his eyes because, of course, his husband would take blame for something that he would never actually do. He knew Dis was waiting to give those cookies and he wouldn't have gone against her wishes like that. Besides, Haran didn't know this, but Thorin had also seen his nephews steal the cookies.

Dis deflated immediately, though. "I was hoping to save those until dessert," she said. "Now they won't be able to have any after dinner."

"I'm so sorry," Haran said again. "I'll go tell them now." He stood and, with a kiss to Thorin's cheek, left the room.

Thorin wanted to complain about his husband abandoning him to his paperwork, but when he looked down he found that all the papers Haran had taken from him were already complete except for the signature he would need to put at the bottom. Seriously, Thorin shook his head disbelievingly; he would never understand how his One could finish paperwork so fast.

"Your husband is going to spoil my children rotten," Dis said accusingly.

Thorin started. He was not expecting Dis to turn on him after Haran left, but he probably should have. Very little people could openly yell at Haran, but that didn't mean they couldn't take their anger out on his husband. The only thing that stopped most people was the fact that Thorin was the current leader. Dis had no qualms about that, though.

"I don't think that he's going to spoil them just because he gave them a treat before they were due to have them," Thorin shook his head. It was a partial lie. He knew that Haran was spoiling the children, but he also knew that his One would never let the boys go rotten.

"Don't play dumb with me," Dis glared at him. "You know he was covering for them."

"I don't know what you're talking about," because he was supposed to be on his husband's side and he did not want to inspire his sister's ire against him by admitting it. "I'll just go see what their up to." He stood before she could stop him and left the room so she could not yell at him. His sister liked to do that when she was angry and he liked to generally avoid it.

"I told her that I let the two of you have them," Thorin heard as he walked into the doorway. He made sure to remain hidden, though. He didn't want to ruin what Haran was putting in motion by making the kids realize that they were caught. It wouldn't have done any good anyway, since his husband immediately started scolding the children with their guilt. It was one of Haran's best tactics and he used it on everyone. Thorin found himself on the wrong side of that tone much more often then he would like. Especially since his husband had a way of making things seem so obvious and the person who missed them feel so stupid. And he could do all this without ever raising his voice.

Haran would have been a good consort of Orebro. Even Thorin would have followed him, if only it hadn't been taken from them.

Thorin would just have to get it back, then. He had already promised himself that he would do it eventually, but now he had one more incentive to do just that.

"Now Fili," Haran said before the two boys could rush out of the room. "You and your brother have done wrong. What do you say when you do wrong?"

Fili apologized almost immediately with the respectful bow and everything. Thorin didn't always get the bow because he often accidentally made the kids feel so bad that the only thing that they could do was to hang their head in shame. He didn't do it on purpose, but he was used to leading armies so it was hard to change himself or children. He was a harsh dwarf and he had the hardest time being gentle. That's why he liked having Haran around. His husband always leant gentleness to his harsh words.

Kili, though, did not say anything. It worried Thorin that the younger dwarf still hadn't spoken when every other dwarfling his age had already started speaking in broken sentences. Dis was also complaining about it, fearing that her youngest son might have problems with his mind. They wouldn't love him any less, but it did complicate things a little bit more. Especially with the two brothers being Intended for each other. What would happen when Fili advanced too far for his little brother to follow?

"You spoil them," Thorin said after the boys disappeared. He might as well let his husband know that he had seen everything. It was either that or go back to his sister. There was no struggle in that decision. Besides, Thorin thought to himself as he walked forward to wrap his arms around his One's shoulders, it was nice to take a break and just spend time with his Haran for a little while. "How will they learn if you don't let them get in trouble?"

"I can't help it," Haran smiled, resting his cheek on Thorin's arm. "I would have done the same thing for you."

"I think it's the other way around," Thorin said. Fili was much more like Thorin and Kili like Haran, so any similarities drawn were always with Thorin and Fili or Haran and Kili. Haran laughed, though, and Thorin realized that his husband had known he would make the correction and had only said it to make a point. He had fallen right into his One's trap. "That's unfair," he grumbled.

"All's fair in love and war." Haran kissed Thorin's hand before pulling him to sit next to him on the couch.

"I want to talk to you about Kili," Thorin said after the two of them got comfortable with Haran cuddling against his chest. His One seemed to be the only one who wasn't concerned about Kili's development and Thorin wanted to know why. Because, no matter how hard he tried, his husband's confidence on the matter would not win over his sister's concern when he wasn't given an explanation. "He still hasn't spoken even though all the other dwarflings his age have. I'm worried that he never will."

Haran looked up at him with a raised eyebrow before realizing that he was being serious and smiled reassuringly. "It's alright Thorin," he said. "My elder brother and I were really close as children and he always seemed to know what I wanted as soon as I wanted it. It took me ages to start talking because I didn't need to with him around and we weren't nearly as close as Fili and Kili are. Give him time. I guarantee you that he will be talking in full sentences before you even know it."

"My family never had that problem." His siblings had actually both started talking before many of the other dwarflings, which is one of the reasons that they were so concerned about it.

"You were raised in a royal family where you're taught to be well spoken at a young age so that you'll be ready to address your people when you got old enough." Thorin honestly hadn't thought of that and once again his husband made it clear how much better he understood the world than Thorin ever could. "You didn't have time to choose not to talk. Don't worry about it. And tell your sister not to worry too, since I know that she's probably hysterical by now with you starting to worry."

Haran cuddled farther into his chest, apparently deciding their conversation was resolved, which it was since Thorin couldn't think of anything else to say, and fell asleep. The poor dwarf always got tired a lot quicker nowadays. After his injury, Haran's body got weaker and he had to work harder to make up for his problems. Thorin decided to let him sleep and soon found himself asleep as well.

A week later Dis needed Fili for something and Kili had quickly gotten bored so Thorin and Haran decided to take the young dwarf to the market to explore. Thorin had Kili in his arms when the dwarfling pointed at the toy stall. They went inside, but that still didn't seem enough as Kili kept pointing at a little carving of a dwarven soldier who had a bow on his back. Still, Thorin didn't understand his nephew quite as well as his family members did and couldn't make out what the dwarfling wanted.

"Can I have it?" Kili finally said in the cutest little voice that Thorin had ever heard. He bought the toy immediately and then another one that had twin swords in his hand when Kili pointed to it and asked, "Fili?"

He did not, of course, miss the amused smile on his husband's face when he did that.


	8. Under Attack: Learning Weapons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was just going through this story again and I noticed that I accidentally posted a chapter from I See Fire instead of the extra that was supposed to be there. This is the correction. I am so sorry about this.

**Chapter 7 Memory in Kili's POV**

"Don't worry Kee," Fili said, giving his brother one last hug before setting off. "I'll be back before you know it."

"Really?" Kili replied with wide eyes. He had been crying since the night before, knowing that Fili would be heading off with their uncle into the forest without Kili, and his eyes were swollen and red.

"Really," Fili nodded.

"You promise?"

"I promise Kee," Fili replied seriously. "Besides, you get to spend the whole day with Uncle Haran. I'm so jealous." It was a much known fact that Haran was Kili's favorite Uncle and an even more known fact that he liked to spoil both his nephews when they spent the day with him.

Kili nodded, though that solemn look of someone losing someone important remained on his face. This was the first time the two of them would be separated for so long a period of time and for such a distance. To this point they had never left each other's side for more than an hour and even then they both got restless by the end of it.

"Come Fili," Thorin said. He had already kissed his husband and said goodbye to his youngest nephew and they were losing daylight.

"Be back before you know it," Fili said again before turning and racing after his Uncle.

Kili's eyes teared up and he was readying himself to cry, but before he could he found himself in Uncle Haran's arm. "Watch," his Uncle said, "it's tradition to wave on the edge of the forest." Kili turned just in time to see his Uncle and brother waving at them before they disappeared into the woods. He waved too with both hands since Uncle Haran was using his only usable to carry the dwarf. They stood there for a bit longer after the two before Haran spoke again. "What do you say to having a little adventure of our own?"

"An adventure of our own?" Kili's eyes widened as he stared at his Uncle, completely forgetting that he had wanted to cry so badly only a few moments before.

"Of course," Uncle Haran smiled as he turned to the little patch of forest near their house.

* * *

Kili had been distracted very well for a few hours within the trees. He had come across plenty tall monsters in the trees that he fought off with a little two sword that Fili had given him and chased after little creatures on the ground, but now he was starting to think about his brother again. He kept thinking that these things would be so much more fun with Fili since he was so much better at playing pretend.

"Why can't I be with Fili?" he pouted, picking a small rock off the ground and throwing it at a squirrel in the trees. He missed, of course, since it was Fili that was always able to throw and things that hit. Sometimes they liked to play by throwing rocks at little animals and Fili was teaching him how to do it better. They had only gotten in trouble one time, too, when Uncle Thorin had seen them throwing rocks at a beehive. He was right to be mad at them too as, as soon as he saw them, Fili managed to hit the thing up high and the bees had come after both of them. Neither they nor their uncle had gotten back into the house without getting stung and Uncle Haran had given them a very stern look as he treated all their wounds.

"Fili's off on an adventure," Uncle Haran smiled. "He's very excited to return and show you what he accomplished. You wouldn't deprive him of that, would you?"

Kili didn't actually know what deprived meant, but Uncle Haran liked to use big words sometimes so the boys had to figure them out on their own. Usually Fili was the one to get it or they would figure it out together, so Kili didn't usually have to think about it on his own, but now he had to think long and hard about it. After a while, he shook his head slowly, still not exactly knowing what deprived meant, but knowing it had to be a bad thing.

"But I want to be with him," he said just in case he had misunderstood Uncle Haran's words.

"If you're patient, I'm sure he will be very happy to see you again when he returns," Uncle Haran replied. Patience was a word that Kili knew very well, but disliked very much. People only ever threw that word around when it would be a while before he would get something that he wanted. He hated being patient. Fili never told him to be patient. Fili always found a way to distract him so he didn't have to be patient. "Now why don't we play a game? What would you like to play?"

"I spy!" Kili said immediately. He and Fili played it all the time and it was the only thing that he was ever able to beat his brother in.

"Alrighty then," Uncle Haran nodded. "You go first."

Kili looked around for something really hard. Uncle Haran was better at this game than Fili and Kili had yet to best him, but he was determined to do it. "I spy something black!" he said when he noticed a bird perched a little deeper in the woods. Uncle Haran glanced around and guessed some things. At one point he would guess a black bear and then at another he would saying something crazy that would make Kili laugh. Kili, of course, knew that his Uncle was just leading him on since Fili had explained in to him some time ago, and he waited for Uncle Haran to finally get it, so he was shocked when he actually gave up.

"It's a raven!" Kili said excitedly as he pointed up at the big black bird.

Uncle Haran squinted into the darkness until he found the raven and his eyes widened. "Good job on that one," Uncle Haran praised and Kili grinned one of his widest grins. He loved being praised like that. It was even better coming from his brother, of course, as Fili always called him amazing or something, but it was rare to be so praised by either of his Uncles without being praised with his brother so he was overly happy for it. "How long it is before you are to start learning your weapons?" Uncle Haran asked.

"Uncle Thorin says that he'll take me and Fili to start training with our swords together on my birthday next week!" Kili said excitedly. He had been looking forward to his birthday more so than usual for that very reason. Fili always looked so cool when he was training and he couldn't wait to join him.

"Would you like me to teach you another weapon now?" Uncle Haran asked and Kili's eyes widened. He was a little hesitant to agree, of course, as he wanted to learn everything with Fili there, but Uncle Haran's next words changed his mind. "You can surprise your Uncle and Fili with it when they return." Surprises were always a good thing in Kili's book and he wanted to surprise Fili so badly.

"Can I really?"

"Of course," Uncle Haran smiled.

* * *

Using the bow was very frustrating and Kili wanted to cry more than once. His brother would always be the one to calm him down when he couldn't figure things out and lost his patience and the fact that he was gone was just making it all that much worse. Uncle Haran was understanding and he did his best to keep Kili calm, but it just wasn't the same. The only thing that kept him at it was the constant reassurances that that his Uncle was so proud of him and that Fili would be so surprised.

That's why, when Kili finally hit the target after like a gazillion tries and Uncle Haran gave an excited "Well done," Kili couldn't help but to jump up and down in his joy. He was the type of person that like to move around, which practicing archery was not conducive to, and he let out all of his pent up energy thus far in his excitement. He tried again and again and, after a while, almost never missed the target. He got so focused, in fact, that he didn't even realize so much time had passed.

"I think we should probably head home for the day," Uncle Haran said. Kili's only response was to shake his head and notch another arrow. He was so close to the center and Fili would be so amazed by him if he could just get a bull's eye. The only problem was that it was getting harder to see with the dimming light and his arms were shaking with the strain of the bow in his hands. "Come on," Uncle Haran smiled. "Your uncle and Fili will be home any minute now and I'm sure they'll both be wanting to see you."

The moment Fili's name passed through Uncle Haran's lips, Kili was thrusting the bow back at his Uncle and rushing back towards the house. He heard his Uncle laugh and chase him, but his was still shocked into squeaking when he was scooped up into Uncle Haran's one good arm. For a moment he thought that it was a good thing because Uncle Haran was a much faster runner than he, but he chose to walk back and Kili squirmed, wanting to see his brother right then.

He was finally able to escape his Uncle's grasp only when they reached the front door to see Uncle Thorin and Fili removing their weapons as they entered the house. "Fili!" Kili yelled excitedly as he threw himself into his brother's arms. Fili was so used to it that the moment he heard Kili calling out to him he was already turning around with his arms out to catch his little brother in a bear hug. "How did your trip go?" Kili asked with the wide eager eyes that everyone thought was so cute on him.

"Uncle showed me a lot of stuff…" Fili began immediately, not wanting to disappoint his brother. He told Kili all about how Uncle Thorin showed him how to hunt and how he had noticed a deer that the other dwarves were able to catch. He had to tell Kili that he didn't actually get to kill anything while they were gone when his little brother asked, but he promised that he would catch the largest deer for Kili as soon as he could.

It took so long for Fili to get through all of his stories, mainly because Kili kept asking for more and Fili liked to exaggerate his tales in order to make his younger brother's eyes widen in awe, that it was long past their bed times by the time he was finished. It was only the fact that Kili was very excited to tell his own news that was keeping him wide awake despite how sleepy he felt. Finally, he just couldn't hold it any longer.

"Uncle Haran has been teaching me weapons!" he shouted excitedly, waiting for Fili to be happily surprised.

The smile that Kili was expecting, however, was not what he got. Instead Fili looked very upset. "But your first sword lesson was supposed to be with me," he frowned.

"We weren't learning swords," Kili explained quickly. The two of them had been planning Kili's first sword lesson ever since Fili was allowed to start learning, and Kili didn't want his older brother to think that he had ruined it all. "I wouldn't learn swords without you, but Uncle Haran was showing me how to use…" he looked around for the very thing that Uncle Haran had been teaching him, not remembering what it was called, but when he didn't find it he rushed to go pick it up from where it sat with the rest of the weapons. "This!" he said, excitedly showing the bow to his brother.

"Is that a bow?" Fili asked with eyes wide. His Uncle used the bow, but it always looked so difficult to master when others tried it. Even the archers in their hunting group weren't all that good and they missed quite a lot. It was amazing that Kili was learning it so young.

"Yea!" Kili grinned. "Isn't it cool?"

"Yea!" Fili agreed with a nod and a smile of his own. Kili was just happy that his surprise had turned out well in the end. He didn't want to upset his brother.

Then a thought occurred to him. What if Fili wanted to learn the bow too? "You should learn the bow too!" he said excitedly. That way they would be able to have all their lessons together again instead of one or the other having to sit back while the other learns.

"That wouldn't be a good idea, Kili," Uncle Haran cut in with a shake of his head. Kili looked at his uncle with wide teary eyes. Why couldn't Fili learn the same weapons as him? Was Fili not allowed? If Fili didn't get to learn the bow then he wouldn't learn it either. "I mean that it is entirely possible for you both to learn the bow," Uncle Haran continued, somehow knowing just what Kili was thinking and explaining the whole thing, "but that sort of weapon is one that, in battle, you should have someone you trust there to protect you."

"I'll protect him," Fili said immediately, wrapping his little brother up in his arms. Kili gripped his brother back and nodded in agreement that he would protect Fili too.

"I know you will," Uncle Haran said with a proud smile, but he continued to explain that it still wouldn't be a good thing that they should learn the same weapons because it would be easier for them to protect each other when they knew different weapons just like him and Uncle Thorin. He did, however, suggest that Fili could learn throwing knives and Fili decided that he would start to learn to use two swords at once, which Uncle Thorin promised to teach him despite a hesitant thoughtful look. All to protect Kili.

"Now off to bed with both of you," their mom said before the two of them could get more in depth in their discussion about the new weapons that they would both be learning. "It is long past your bed time."

"But mom," they both protested despite their yawns and the fact that they were already getting up to head that way.

* * *

"Look Fili! Look!" Kili jumped up and down excitedly, distracting Fili so he missed his target with his throwing knife. He was a little frustrated, knowing that he was so close, but he turned to look at his little brother to see what he was so excited about anyway. "I hit the center!" Kili grinned.

Fili looked at his little brother's target and, sure enough, along with a whole bunch of arrows all over the thing, there was a single arrow right in the middle. "That's awesome!" he said proudly. "You'll be the best archer ever soon!"

"Yea!" Kili grinned, "and then I'll be able to protect you too!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was a lot harder to write in young Kili's POV then I was really expecting. I hope you guys like it nonetheless.


	9. Visiting Elves: Thorin's First Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorn just doesn't understand why his Intended should like elves so much when he won't even touch him.

"My guard, Master Vorin has asked to bring his son along to Rivendell," King Thror said to the family as they ate dinner a few days before he was supposed to head out to meet with the elves. Thorin couldn't help but to scowl at his plate. Dis and Frerin had been quick to tell his whole family about how he had Rejected his Intended and the family had since been talking nonstop about Haran, reminding him about how amazing Haran was and how well-respected his family was. It was annoying and he just wanted to stop talking about it. It's not like he disliked Haran anyway. He actually quite liked other, from what he had seen of him, but he just didn't think that Haran would be good as a prince of Erebor. Surely there were others who would be much better for the position that Mahal could have put him with, but instead he got the one who was certainly not suitable for it. Haran would forget about him soon enough and he was just fine living his life on his own for the people of his kingdom.

"Which one?" Dis asked even though it was so obvious who it would be.

"His youngest," Thror replied as though he didn't know exactly what that meant to the eldest of his grandsons. "Haran, I believe. Master Vorin mentioned that he was eager to learn the bow and thought that he would find better tutelage in Rivendell then he would here."

Thorin scowled at the thought of his Intended actually wanting to learn an elven weapon. It was well known that a weapon like that was weak and cowardly since you never saw the enemies' face close up. The fact that the Valar would even think to put him with such a dwarf was laughable. Haran should be with someone who was a lot more able to care than Thorin, and a lot kinder too. It must have been a mistake.

"That's Thorin's intended," Dis grinned. Thorin just scowled at her. He would have been much angrier at her if he didn't know that it was Frerin who originally gave out the news of his so-called intended.

"Indeed," Thror nodded calmly, "which is why I would like you, Thorin, to accompany me."

"What?!" Thorin practically jumped from his chair in his anger. It was only the glare from his father that had him sitting back down.

"It will be very good for you," his grandfather continued as though he hadn't said anything, "to see what's it's like in these meetings. The earlier you gain the experience, the earlier you can improve your skills."

"Fine," Thorin growled, "but don't expect me to spend all that time with that guard's son."

King Thror nodded, but Thorin had the sinking feeling that he wouldn't heed those words at all.

* * *

The day of their departure came around much too quickly for Thorin's liking. His father woke him early to help him pack, but the whole time the only thing that he would talk about was how he expected Thorin to act very well-behaved while he was visiting the elven city. The whole thing just got on his nerves. He wasn't a child anymore and the fact that his father was treating him as such really irked him. Even moreso when he brought up Haran. "Make sure to treat him well," he said. "Maybe you could even spend some time getting to know him." Thorin doubted it, though. He had every intention of avoiding the guard's son for as much of the journey as he could.

As Thorin stood by his grandfather glaring at everything that moved and waiting for the guard and his son to arrive, he was surprised to see both dwarves falter at the sight of him. So they didn't even know that he was coming along then. Thorin felt himself relax as the suspicion that he didn't even know he had about the guard's family planning this with his own was eased. Vorin quickly looked to his son, but Haran simply stood taller and marched on as though he was heading into some sort of a war. That hurt a little. Sure, Thorin hadn't been treating his so-called intended well, but he didn't think he had been that cruel.

"My grandson has decided to join us on this expedition," Thorin's grandfather smiled, but Thorin only scowled at the comment. He hadn't decided to do anything. He was being forced to go just so that he would be forced to spend time with the guard's son. He really didn't know why his family was so insistent that he get along with Haran. They clearly didn't belong together. "It will be good for him to interact with the elves." Which was another thing that he really wasn't looking forward to.

Vorin agreed with the king, as expected, but he also added on the fact that Haran wanted to speak with the elves himself. That just made Thorin scowl even more. Some dwarves, he knew, had to learn the bow, but they were usually the ones who couldn't afford the metal for axes and swords. The fact that a well-off son of a high-guard wanted to learn such a cheap weapon was not one Thorin liked, especially since he was his supposed Intended. And then he even wanted to ask the elves for help. What help could those tree-shaggers actually be anyway?

"Why would anyone want to learn an elven weapon like that?" He hadn't really meant to say the words out loud, but he had and he refused to take back his words even though his grandfather's glare promised some punishment later.

Haran, though, seemed completely unaffected by his rude remark. "To protect those we love," he replied calmly before turning and walking toward the ponies that they would ride to their destination.

Thorin was somewhat surprised by Haran's answer. He hadn't really known what he was expecting, but whatever it was he had expected it to be a lie. There was still a possibility that it was a lie, Thorin knew, but he had been getting better at knowing when people were lying to him and he didn't think Haran was. But it was not merely that, which surprised him. Anyone else, especially someone who was trying to seduce Thorin into marriage, would have waited until they were absolutely certain that Thorin was done with them before walking away, but Haran had instead turned away just as things started to get interesting.

His intended was actually more interesting than he thought than he originally thought he was.

* * *

The arrival at Rivendell was nothing to Thorin, he had seen much better splendor in his own room then he saw here, but it annoyed him more than he thought it should that Haran seemed to enjoy the view so much. He stared at the smallest and stupidest of things in Thorin's opinion and the prince found himself wanting more and more to pull out something of his own creation to show Haran what true splendor was. He didn't, of course, because the only things that he had on him of his own creation were his beads and the showing of beads in that manner was a very intimate thing to do. He did not want to give the other dwarf false hoped.

"King Thror," an elf came to greet them with open and welcoming arms, "it is good to see you again." For a moment Thorin wondered if the elf actually wanted to hug his grandfather as that was a very common motion amongst men, but Thror only bowed in response and the elf did not look offended at all. It must have just been the way that elves greet then.

"Very good indeed Lord Elrond," King Thror replied and their conversation continued for some time. It was a long and boring conversation about how their trip had been and the fact that they had run into a band of thieves on their way, but had easily dispatched of them. That had been the most fun that Thorin had as of yet, but Haran hadn't even participated; choosing instead to stay with the ponies and keep them calm.

Then, finally, Lord Elrond said something in Elvish and Thrain agreed. Thorin had no clue what was said and he cursed he lack of knowledge on the Elvish language. Balin had been teaching him, but he found that foreign languages were not something he excelled at and it was taking him much longer to learn that he would like to need to on anything to do with elves.

"Lord Elrond," Vorin spoke up as he bowed slightly, "my son would like to beg a favor of you." Thorin scowled. Were they really going to do this now? He had hoped that he might have persuaded Haran not to learn the bow during their travel, but it was hard to do when the other practically avoided him or simply walked away when he began saying something Haran didn't like.

Lord Elrond looked over to Haran curiously and he bowed just as his father had. "I was hoping to ask some of your people to teach me how to use the bow if it is okay with you."

"Of course," Lord Elrond smiled. "My sons, Elladan and Elrohir, will be happy to teach you." The two twin siblings that stood just behind Lord Elrond smiled. "Perhaps after dinner you three can go into the gardens to practice." So soon? Thorin's scowl deepened. They should at least get a feel of the place before trusting these strange elves to weapons training.

"Thank you so much!" Haran grinned, bowing again in his gratitude. Then he turned to the twins and bowed to them. "I shall be ready to learn whenever the two of you will teach me." And Thorin would have to follow them to make sure that those twins didn't try anything.

* * *

Over the entirety of their journey to Rivendell Haran had shown himself to be a slow eater compared to the rest of the dwarves. He was never truly eager to finish quickly. Not even when the others were having practice battles and his father asked if he wanted to join in, which he never did. In fact, Haran had even chosen to stay with the ponies to keep them calm when they were attacked by bandits, though he did manage to take out two of their attackers without Thorin even seeing, which annoyed him greatly because he still hadn't seen the other fight and Haran's claim that he could beat him was something that he still wasn't able to get over.

All of that is the very reason that Thorin was even more annoyed when Haran all but scarfed his food down to finish as quickly as possible and go train with the elvish twins. Thorin just didn't understand why Mahal would put him with a dwarf that loved  _elves_ more than his own people.

The twins ate eagerly despite the disappointed look from their father and jumped out of their seats the moment that Haran was done. At least his Intended had manners enough to bow to both the King and the Lord of Rivendell before he followed them away from the dining room. There was no way that Thorin would let those  _elves_ be alone with his Intended, however, so he followed behind Haran without even finishing his own meal. Who wanted to eat so many greens anyway?

The twins took them to a clearing in a garden that had targets set up a distance too far for throwing knives. Thorin scowled at the distance. It was too far and they were probably planning on making a fool of Haran.

"How much do you know?" one of the twins asked. Thorin didn't care to tell them apart.

Haran replied that he had been teaching himself, but that he wasn't sure how much he actually knew and how much he got wrong. That somewhat surprised Thorin. Sure, he knew that there weren't many archers in Erebor, but there had to be at least someone who knew well enough to teach Haran. Although, perhaps not as most dwarves only took up archery as a secondary method for hunting or being part of the guard. Even Master Vorin never took up archery as he, and most other guards, only needed to fight in close combat. There wasn't much use for very long distance weapons inside closed spaces like a mountain.

The twins asked Haran to take his position and he did so willingly. They agreed that he was doing well, though Thorin scowled at the way they worded it, but they claimed his bow was wrong. The prince had seen only a few bows in his time and that was only because he was required as one of the royals to learn a bit about each of the weapons that he could use, but the bow Haran held looked just like any that he had seen.

"My people don't really use bows," Haran said eyeing the weapon in his hand, "so I made this one myself."

The twins immediately went about criticizing Haran's weapon and that just made Thorin scowl even more. How dare they criticize a weapon of dwarvish make? It wasn't like it was really Haran's fault that his tensioning was wrong when he hadn't even gotten a proper bow to compare it to and insulting a weapon was a great insult to its maker. Yet, the twins picked up another bow that was obviously meant for one of their children and Thorin clenched his fists. They really were making fun of Haran.

Haran pulled the string back only to immediately loosen the strain with wide eyes. Even Thorin could tell that Haran had almost broken the bow by the way it strained with his grip and he smirked. Let that show those  _elves_ that a dwarve's strength wasn't to be messed with.

When Haran asked for his own bow back, however, Thorin's scowl returned as the elves held it above their heads as though taunting a younger sibling with something they couldn't reach. It was not something that Thorin had witnessed himself, but he had often heard other dwarves complain about how the men sometimes put things on higher shelves that they knew a dwarf wanted so that they couldn't reach it. Those tall folk just loved to make fun of their shorter stature. That is, until they found out how much stronger the dwarves were compared to them. Haran, at least, didn't lower himself to even attempting to get his bow back. He only raised a brow like a disappointed parent to his kids. With a look like that, he could probably calm a lot of nobles. Perhaps he had misjudged the other in that regard.

Suddenly, the twins moved forward and reached out to touch Haran and Thorin reacted without even thinking. "Don't touch him," he growled. Haran had been avoiding any sort of touch the entirety of their journey. He even jerked away when there was incidental touching. Thorin didn't know much about this sort of thing, but he had seen dwarves who would sometimes go into panic attacks just from being touched and he would not let that happen to Haran in front of these  _elves_. He stepped between the elves who stared wide-eyed at him and Haran as a shield. They would have to get through him before they even thought about touching his Intended.

"What do you think you're doing?" Haran hissed.

"They were going to touch you," Thorin scowled. Surely Haran knew about his own aversion to touch and that this would be the only explanation necessary. Besides, he could not say anymore in front of the  _elves_ for fear of embarrassing Haran.

"Yes," Haran scowled right back at him, which shocked Thorin. Why was Haran angry at him for protecting him? "That's generally how people teach weaponry."

Before he could stop himself, Thorin's frustration got the better of him. "How would you know? You've never learned any weapon besides the bow." And even that he had taught himself. He didn't understand how much skin contact could be involved in teaching weapons, so he may think that he could last through a little bit, but would soon be overwhelmed.

"First of all," Haran hissed. "You don't even know me. just because I choose not to use my weapons, doesn't mean I don't know how. My father has trained me well. And second of all, you have no right to demand that people don't touch me."

"I am your Intended," Thorin replied, trying to get Haran to understand that he was just trying to protect him as any soul mate should.

"And you have Rejected me," Haran replied, glaring at Thorin, "so I'm going to go back to my lessons where Elladan and Elrohir will teach me how to use the bow whether they have to touch me or not and you are either going to go somewhere else or sit there and not interfere with my business."

Thorin watched wide-eyed as Haran calmly stepped around him, making sure that they did not make contact and talked once more to the elves as though nothing had happened. Suddenly, Thorin remembered that, though the contact had been minimal, Haran had never shied away from any touches other than his own. He scowled. Well, if Haran didn't want him around then he certainly wouldn't stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! That chapter was much longer than I was really expecting it to be.


	10. Speaking Elvish: Or Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The real reason Thorin doesn't like elves (before the dragon fiasco)

**Chapter 9 Memory in Thorin's POV**

Thorin glared as he sat in the yard watching Haran train with the elves. His grandfather had said that he needed to stop hiding in the shadows and spend some time with Haran. He had tried to argue that he was not really hiding in the shadows when he watched Haran train, though, he just happened to never be seen by anyone. When he said that to Thror, the king had only raised an eyebrow and Thorin was forced to step into the clearing. At first he thought that Haran would be upset seeing him there, he had practically banned Thorin last time he had followed them, but he just smiled slightly and bowed respectfully before turning to his tutors. Thorin resolved then that he'd rather not make Haran angry with him, so he would stay off to the side and not to interfere even though Haran was learning the  _bow_ from the  _elves._

That is, until the twins started speaking in Sindarin. While he had watched, Thorin had seen the twins speaking to Haran in the elvish language and had been surprised to see that his Intended could reply back with almost the same amount of fluency despite his thick accent, but for some reason the way the twins look as they spoke this time just made his skin bristle. They looked like they were making fun of him. How dare they speak in a language he didn't understand. "Are you offering us insult?" he growled. It was the wrong thing to do apparently as the easy grin Haran had been sporting immediately slipped away to exasperation.

"No, Prince Thorin, they were offering a compliment to my skills with a bow," Haran sighed.

"How do you know that?" Thorin demanded without thinking. Of course Haran knew since he had shown that he was quite good at speaking the language, but Thorin's frustration at not being able to understand it himself just made him angry to the point that he wasn't thinking anymore.

"I speak Sindarin," Haran shrugged as though this was nothing, but Thorin knew for a fact that Sindarin was not an easy language to learn. Balin, who as a scholar had learned some time ago, had been trying to teach him for some time, but Thorin just couldn't grasp the language. Even now he only caught snatches of words that he had heard before, but they were spoken much to quick for him to ever understand. So, of course, learning the elvish language was not nothing for his Intended, yet Haran sent him an uncertain look anyway.

Thorin wanted to tell Haran that he was very accomplished for having learned the three languages in his time. Some dwarves never even learned Westron, and only those who absolutely needed to learned Sindarin. He wanted to compliment the dwarf, but instead he found himself growling, "Why?"

"Because I wanted to learn," Haran replied before Thorin could correct his statement.

The elves spoke in Sindarin once more and Thorin scowled when Haran replied in their own language. He hated it when people left him out of conversations, but it was even worse when they were words that he couldn't understand. There was no knowing what the three of them were talking about. "Speak words we can all understand." For all he knew, they could be planning an assassination attempt on the king while he stood right next to him. Not that he thought that Haran would ever do that. The dwarf was far too loyal to ever betray the king.

"They were asking why you're so angry about something that I chose to learn," Haran explained immediately. "Aren't you supposed to learn it too at some point in the future?"

Thorin scowled. "Only because it is tradition." Otherwise he wouldn't bother learning something that was obviously outside his realm of understanding. He would much rather employ his time learning how to defend the government or run the country for when he became king.

"Why don't you start learning now?" the twins asked, finally speaking in Westron so that he could understand.

For a moment Thorin didn't know what to do. It would be rude to deny the twins outright, and his father would be angry if he did, but there was no way that he was going to embarrass himself in front of them. Especially when he was obviously the only one having troubles with the language. Luckily, Haran unknowingly came to his rescue. "There's a proper order to these things," he shook his head. " _Prince_ Thorin will learn Sindarin when his teachers deem it the right time and not before or it might corrupt the knowledge that he's learning now." Of course that information was utterly wrong, but Thorin expected no less from someone outside of the royal family. How were they to know how the teachings actually went? What did confuse Thorin a bit, though, was the emphasis Haran had put on his title. Although his Intended had thus far shown the proper respect around his family, he had not actually called Thorin by his title. Surprisingly, Thorin didn't really like when Haran used his title.

The twins eyes glimmered and Thorin braced himself for a verbal fight, but they were distracted by Haran loosing another arrow and, unsurprisingly now that Thorin had watched him shoot for some time, hit the bull's eye dead center. The prince retreated immediately before they could come back to him.

* * *

"I thought that you were supposed to be with Haran," Thror raised a brow when Thorin happened upon him as he stalked the halls of Rivendell.

"He was with the  _elves_?" Thorin growled.

"The elves?" asked Thror. "And what have they done that makes you dislike them. You've never shown such dislike before."

Thorin couldn't answer that. He hadn't really cared about elves in general up until now, but the moment they had walked into Rivendell the elves had just rubbed him the wrong way.

"Could it be that you are jealous that Haran seems to like them more than you?" Thror smirked and Thorin bristled. "I see. That is the reason then. What right have you to be jealous of the elves then?"

"He is my Intended," Thorin growled.

"And you have Rejected him," Thror reminded him. For a moment Thorin wondered if his grandfather had overheard his conversation with Haran the first time he openly watched the other train, but Thror continued before he could ask. "Your brother and sister tell me you rejected him because you thought he wasn't good enough for you, so what right do you have to be jealous now."

"I never said that," Thorin hissed. From what Thorin saw of Haran, he was actually impressed by the other. In fact, he was actually kind of starting to like Haran despite every attempt otherwise.

"Really?" Thror asked. "Then why did you Reject him?"

"He wouldn't be good for the people," Thorin said. "I have a duty to our people."

"Hmm," Thror hummed thoughtfully. "Perhaps you don't know him that well. I would suggest you go and actually spend time with him instead of being cruel to him."

"I haven't been cruel to him," Thorin said.

"Haven't you?" Thror raised a brow, but he didn't give Thorin enough time to answer before he walked away.

It was true that Thorin hadn't exactly been nice to Haran since the moment he met him, but it wasn't that he was going out of his way to be mean. He just couldn't help it. Still, his grandfather was right and Thorin should at least try to be kind to the other.

* * *

Thorin was beyond frustrated as he stalked through Rivendell. He had gone back to the clearing where Haran had been training only to find that it was all cleaned up and that no one was there anymore. Having no other ideas of where Haran would be, he set out to look for him and promptly got lost. Now he was not only probably nowhere near where the rooms were, but he also had been walking for hours and he was starting to get tired.

It was finally mere luck that he happened to see Haran through a door as an elf exited out of it. the dwarf was practically curled in a seat that was obviously much too large for him looking perfectly comfortable as he read a small book that was written in Sindarin. The fact that the dwarf was sitting there lazily while Thorin had been walking what felt like the entirety of Rivendell just made Thorin that much more frustrated to the point that the only think that he could think to say was "Why did you learn that language?" while glowering at the book in his Intended's hands.

Haran looked up at him with a contemplative look and then stood and walked over to one of the bookshelves. For a moment Thorin thought that he was being ignored, at this point he wouldn't blame Haran but his Intended had never showed such disrespect before, but then Haran returned and put a rather large book that was also written in Sindarin down on the table before him. "This book has never been translated into anything other than Sindarin," Haran said.

"So?" Thorin raised a brow, not understanding the other's point. Was there something important about this particular book? Perhaps it had elven battle strategies that the dwarves could use to their advantage in battle. That, at least, would make sense to him.

"I just finished reading it," Haran replied with a content smile on his face, "and I enjoyed it very much."

That still didn't answer Thorin's question as to why Haran had wanted to read this particular book in the first place. What was so great about it? "Why would you want to read something written by those tree-huggers?" Surely they couldn't think up anything remotely interesting to write about.

"Why are you so against them?" Haran asked. "They have done nothing to you."

Thorin, of course, could not tell Haran the reason that his grandfather had thought of, but he had no other to offer so he said the first thing that came to his mind. "You've never had to deal with them until now," he growled. "Those stuck up bastards don't deserve anything from me." And they certainly didn't deserve the attention that Haran had been lavishing on them the entire time that they had been at Rivendell. Okay, maybe he was a little bit jealous.

"I haven't," Haran agreed readily, "but imagine how you look to them right now."

The change of subject confused Thorin, but he had the feeling that whatever Haran had just implied it wasn't a nice thing. "What do you mean?" he snarled.

"By the way you're acting, you seem more like a spoiled child than a proud prince to me and I actually know you as my prince. I'm rather sure the twins had no clue you were the prince until I mentioned it earlier today."

The insult, however true Thorin knew it was, still hurt. Haran had never before said anything to insult him except when Thorin had first Rejected him. In fact, it almost seemed like he was actively trying to avoid saying anything negative and the sudden change made Thorin more angry than it should have. "How dare you!"

"Honestly," Haran continued despite Thorin's anger, "you threw a fit because I could speak to the elves in their own language. Just because you have trouble grasping the language, doesn't mean you should take it out on those who don't."

"You knew?" Thorin gaped. How had he possibly known that? And, because he knew that, why did he stop the twins from pressing Thorin about his learning.

"Of course I knew," Haran replied. "You recognized some of the words, though you couldn't put them together in a sentence. From what I saw, you are only just learning the basics of Sindarin." That actually said more to Thorin than it should have. Haran had been watching him. Not only that, but he had been actively trying to learn about him despite the cruel way Thorin had treated him from the very beginning. Suddenly, the way that he had been acting this entire time came back to him and he realized that he really had been acting spoiled rotten. He felt ashamed that Haran had seen him like that and he wanted nothing more than to erase it all.

"That is none of your concern," Thorin said, not knowing what else to say.

"Of course it's not," Haran sighed, "but if you should need any help in the future, I will be happy to help you."

"I don't need your help," Thorin growled before stomping out of the room. He hadn't wanted Haran to know that he was struggling with the language to begin with, but he certainly did not want Haran to actually see him do so.

"Of course you don't," Thorin heard Haran say, though he was sure he wasn't supposed to. That had not gone how he wanted it at all. In fact, he didn't think he said a single kind word in the whole of that conversation. He growled at himself. So what if he just wasn't good with words, he needed to learn and he needed to stop hurting his intended.

* * *

Later that day Thorin found himself at the library once more. He told himself that he had just gotten lost once more. It wasn't a very kingly thing to do, but that excuse was still better than the real reason that he was there. The library was empty except for an elf, but there on the table where Thorin had spoken to Haran the large Sindarin book still rested. He went to it and caressed it's cover. Haran still hadn't told him what the book was about and he found himself interested in it. He wanted to know what was it that Haran liked so much about this particular book. He wanted to know what was it that Haran liked.

"I'd like to buy a copy of this book," he said aloud to the other elf in the room. He was probably the bookkeeper and would know where Thorin could get a copy.

The elf, however, was not the bookkeeper and Thorin stiffened when he realized it was Lord Elrond. He didn't much like the elves, but he had thus far made sure to show absolute courtesy to the Lord of Rivendell as befitting of a visitor whether they be royal or not. Yet here he had addressed him as though he was a mere commoner.

Lord Elrond said nothing on the matter, however. He just came forward and examined the book. "A great adventure," he said finally. "We have several copies and you are welcome to them. May I ask why you want it."

"Haran said it was a good book," Thorin replied, not wanting to insult the elf anymore by lying to him. Though, he still refused to tell the absolute truth on the matter.

"He did seem to enjoy it when he was reading it," Lord Elrond smiled kindly. "You are welcome to take that copy. It is not the only one in this library and it is not any one of the books that I keep in my care for their protection. The only payment I require is that you promise to take good care of the book."

Thorin almost allowed his eyes to widen at that. People scarcely gave things so freely. He nodded and picked the book up. "Thank you," he said with a bow because no matter what his grandfather said. He did still have manners.

* * *

Later, when they returned from Rivendell Thorin would secret the book to Balin and beg him to teach him how to read it. Balin would fuss that that was not how things were done, but would eventually comply because he was just as curious to see what the book was about. They would read it together, though it would be a slow process as Thorin had to learn to read the language as well as understand it, but by the end of the book, which was rather interesting, he found that he actually understood the language far better than he had when he was trying to learn it the normal way. In fact, by then he could practically speak it and his family was very impressed with how much he had improved in that time. After all, Haran had been right; it was a good book.


	11. Speaking Elvish: Elven Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Out of luck the Elven meeting goes well, but Thorin knows all too well that luck likes to change.

Thorin glared down at the Valley of Imladris as Gandalf explained exactly where they were with a smug look on his face. He knew the wizard had something up his sleeve. He was just too adamant about where they were supposed to be heading.

Thorin hadn't returned to Rivendell since his first visit to the elven city. He and Haran had stayed in the mountain, though he had been planning on asking if his husband would like to visit the elves before the dragon came. They hadn't even gone there on their way to the Blue Mountains. Haran had suggested they visit Rivendell and ask for aid, claiming that the elves of Rivendell would be much more likely to give it then their brethren in Greenwood or the towns of men they had come across, but Thror had refused. At first Thorin didn't understand why his grandfather would say no as, even though all the dwarves were hating the elves for abandoning them at the mountain, it was the duty of the king to overlook grudges in order to keep his people safe. Then Thror had told him in secret that Lord Elrond had the gift of foresight. The fact that he hadn't sent aid, or even told them that the dragon was coming in the first place, was just as much of an abandonment and betrayal as Thranduil had done.

"The only ill will to be found in this valley is that which you bring yourself," Gandalf said to all his protests.

And they truly didn't have any choice on the matter. Gandalf was right that they needed the elves help. They had lost their ponies and, with them, all of their supplies. They would need to replenish their stores before they tried to climb the mountain where no food would be found and there was no towns of men between Rivendell and the Misty Mountains. So, grudgingly, he followed Gandalf down the path.

Thorin was not at all happy about this decision and his mood was not being helped by Bilbo walking in front of them looking like this place was the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen before. He, of course, hadn't seen Erebor before then so he could be forgiven slightly for being awed by the splendor of Rivendel, but the way Bilbo looked at everything reminded Thorin too much of the Love he lost for him to be in a good mood. Especially since they were going to see  _elves._

What was so interesting to his husband and Bilbo anyway? They were certainly nothing special to him.

An elf, Thorin believed him to be Lord Elrond's right hand man, came to meet them and had a conversation with Gandalf in their elvish tongue. It was a relatively benign conversation, though Thorin wouldn't let anyone know that he understood the elves so that they would feel free to speak around him and he would know if they were planning anything. Instead, he leaned over to Dwalin and told him to keep a whether eye out. These elves weren't cruel, Thorin knew though he still remained angry at them for abandoning him, but he had no doubt that they would try to stop the dwarves on their quest the moment they found out about it.

Thorin bristled when the horns of a hunt sounded. He had heard them rarely in his time at Rivendel, but he knew exactly where they returned to and the sound of horse hooves on the bridge told him he was right. His dwarves were too spread out and they would get hurt from the horses if they stayed that way. "Close ranks!" he called, the only way to make sure that everyone would come together in the smallest formation as possible so that it would be less likely that they would be trampled by horses. Bilbo, who apparently didn't understand Thorin even when he repeated his command in Westron instead of Khuzdhul had to be pulled back and to the center of the group by Bofur, but they were quickly all in a small circle and the horses had room to surround them. Normally, Thorin wouldn't have allowed for such a disadvantage if they had time to move, but he knew with Gandalf there there was no danger.

Lord Elrond called out to Gandalf as he dismounted his horse, though none of the other elves did, knowing how crowded the circular area would become if they did. He subtly asked about what in the world they were doing there, but, true to his word, Gandalf headed him off so that he wouldn't find out about their quest. It was only a delay, Thorin knew. Elrond would find out eventually if he didn't already know with his gift.

"Welcome Thorin, son of Thrain," Elrond said.

"I do not believe that we have met," Thorin scowled. After abandoning them at the mountain this elf did not deserve to claim an acquaintance with him. Besides, there was no knowing what the elves would do with them. It was best all-around that Thorin pretend not to know anything about them so that he would have a better chance of surprising them if his company should come to any danger.

"You have your grandfather's bearing," Elrond conceded. "I knew Thror when he ruled under the mountain." Thorin scowled.

"Indeed?" Thorin asked. "He made no mention of you." It was, of course, a lie as Thror had made sure to keep both his son and the grandson that would eventually take his throne updated on all of their relationships no matter how far away they were. It was, however, a better statement then how any of his people had spoken of the elves since the day the dragon took their homeland.

Lord Elrond just raised a brow and offered them dinner, which Thorin opened his mouth to respond to, but could not think of anything to say. Had he truly not known the language of the elves he might have accused their leader of insulting them as he had once done to Lord Elrond's twin sons, but the fact that the Lord of Rivendell had been polite enough to offer them food made him think better of it. He would have to be careful here. He couldn't let the elves know that he remembered them, but he also didn't want to seem like the spoiled child that Haran had once accused him of acting like.

Luckily it was Gloin who stepped forward and demanded to know what the elf had said. As a banker, he of all the dwarves should have known Sindarin in order to more easily trade with the elves, but much teaching was lacking when they moved to the Blue Mountains and much of their knowledge was lost in Erebor. At this point, Thorin was sure that he was probably the only one in Erebor who still knew how to speak Sindarin.

Gandalf quickly fixed the blunder, of course, by translating Lord Elrond's words for the dwarves. He looked exasperated, but Thorin could care less. He had told the wizard that he didn't want to come to this place yet the wizard had practically forced it on them instead. The dwarves could make it as difficult as they liked and Thorin would certainly not tell them off for it.

* * *

And difficult is what they made it. Thorin knew that the elves had no qualms against serving meat as they had done so when he had last visited, yet they were only given greens to eat. Greens were something that dwarves as a people generally disliked. Except Haran, who was always the odd dwarf. His company, however, was not at all odd. They moaned and groaned and whined while they looked around for the meat. Then Bofur, finally having enough of the slow music that was common in Rivendell got up on an alter that looked fairly important and began to sing while stomping and dancing.

Thorin couldn't help himself. He had gotten up from where he sat with the tall folk in order to join his company, which was of course insulting because he was showing that he preferred the company of the common instead of that of lords and wizards. The moment Bofur began to sing, he began stomping his foot. He didn't do it overtly, knowing that he could not make a mockery of himself in such a way for when he actually regained his title as King Under the Mountain, but there was hardly a dwarf in all of Middle Earth who could resist one of Bofur's songs.

Bilbo looked completely put out through the entirety of the meal. He seemed to be enjoying his greens and was not at all happy when the dwarves started stealing his food to join their food fight. When Bofur jumped up on the alter, he looked absolutely mortified. Though he did eventually start grinning behind his hand during the song.

Gandalf, on the other hand, did not seem at all pleased with their behavior and he put a stop to it as soon as he could by calling him and Balin to meet with Lord Elrond privately. The rest of his company immediately went traipsing off to find their supplies, but Bilbo stood a moment, trying to decide which group he should follow. He should have immediately followed Thorin's company, but the King knew that Gandalf was probably Bilbo's closest friend and the hobbit wouldn't want to leave the protection of his closest friend in such a strange place. Still, for some reason that made Thorin annoyed. Why would Bilbo trust a wizard who came and went as he pleased more than his own company who would do anything to get the burglar to their mountain and finish their quest?

Bilbo smiled when Gandalf motioned for him to follow them and Thorin sighed. The hobbit, though he probably knew little about meetings, would probably be a calming factor for all others in the room. Thorin was certain that Bilbo had already done so for the other members of his company and he could already feel himself settling, though he had little worries of this meeting. Bilbo just seemed to have that affect.

It was very similar to the way Haran used to make him feel during his meetings.

* * *

Gandalf glared at Thorin when the dwarf finally relinquished the map to Lord Elrond. Balin wasn't at all happy to be giving such an heirloom up to an elf after all that the elves had done to their people, but Thorin knew that this one elf was at least somewhat trustworthy. Besides, Gandalf had been right, though Thorin was loathe to admit it. They needed the elf's help. Not even Haran had ever been able to read Ancient Dwarvish and he was widely renowned as the best linguist of all the dwarves.

It seemed luck was on their side as Lord Elrond found that the map could only be read that night. If they had come any later than they would have missed this chance and they would have had to wait until next year, which would have condemned his people to starvation for another year. For a moment Thorin thanked his lucky number and wondered if they would have had the same luck had Bilbo not been there with them. The hobbit did seem to have quite a lot to spare.

The thing about luck, however, was that it had a tendency to change quite quickly. Especially, it seemed, for his people who were only ever awarded luck when it was getting ready to turn sour.

That was proven immediately when Balin, who had always been eager to teach people things without any thought to the consequences, revealed their plan. Gandalf had said that Lord Elrond would try to stop them if he knew of their plan and now he knew. They would have to leave that night, which would not at all make his company very happy.

They wouldn't have been able to stay much longer anyway, if what Lord Elrond said about them only being able to open the door on Durin's day was true.


	12. Important Meetings: Thorin's Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin wonders how he was ever happy before he met Haran.

Thorin slowly sat back on his bed after getting ready. He had an early morning meeting and he hadn't wanted to wake Haran for it until it was absolutely necessary that he do so. That time was coming fast, but he wanted to watch his One sleep for a moment longer. Not for the first time, he wondered how in the world he had ever thought to Reject his One. How could he ever think that Haran would not be good for the people. His husband had time and time again shown how amazingly perfect he was for the job of a prince's husband as soon as Thorin had finally given him the chance to do so. He had always been perfect and Thorin had prayed for forgiveness from Mahal for ever having doubted his choice during that horrible time that his One Slept.

Thorin shook himself. It was getting late and if he waited much longer his husband would not have time to get ready and eat before their meeting. He leaned down and kissed Haran's forehead as he said, "I have a meeting today, love."

Thorin had quickly learned that Haran was not at all a morning person so he was not at all surprised when his One buried even deeper into his pillows even while he said he would get dressed. When Haran still didn't wake after a moment's wait and actually seemed like he might go back to sleep, Thorin offered to just let his husband sleep in and go to the meeting on his own. He had gotten used to having Haran at his side at these meetings and would not like missing him, but his husband had spent much of the night before helping to right the library after something had happened to mess it all up and he deserved his sleep.

"I'm getting up," Haran replied, pushing himself away from his pillows as he did so. Thorin couldn't help, but to allow his amusement to leak through to his expression, not that he really tried around Haran now, and he leaned forward to give his husband another kiss. This time on the lips. He had found that to be the best way to wake his One and he quite enjoyed doing it himself.

"I'll have to redo your hair before we go," Thorin said. He had to hold back a laugh at his husband's hair. Had it been any shorter, Thorin was sure that it would be sticking up in all directions. But his hair was long so instead it gathers in mounds or rat's nests. Even one of the few braids that had managed to last the night fell apart the moment he grabbed at it.

Haran complained about Thorin having already done his own hair as Thorin had expected he would, but he only replied that the meeting was sooner than it normally was. This was true, of course, but they honestly would have time to do both their hair if Thorin didn't take so much time with Haran's. Yet that wasn't something Thorin would ever give up. One of his favorite parts of every morning since he married his husband was taking a brush to those soft locks and creating intricate designs of braids and jewels.

It was a little known fact, that Haran had already figured out, that Thorin truly did love beauty. If it hadn't been so uncommon for the king, Thorin may have chosen to be a jeweler instead of a smith. Able to create the most beautiful things out of jewels and fine crafts. Yet he had had to make do with the molding of metal into sharp steel. That is, until he finally accepted Haran and had taken the time to create the most beautiful things from fine metals to weave into his husband's hair. That included the new coronet that he placed in Haran's hair. He had just finished it and given it to Haran the other day, but this was the first time that they had the chance to actually wear it.

Once Haran's hair was done, Thorin set about dressing his husband in the royal garbs that the servants had laid out after dressing him. Thorin would never allow the servants to dress his husband because he was overly protective and feared that someone would try to harm his soul mate while they dressed him. He was also very jealous and wanted no one to see his Haran in any form of undress. Besides, he enjoyed being able to run his hands over his husband's body even in the most platonic of ways. He would never tell anyone, but he still sometimes feared that, if he didn't touch his Intended enough, Haran would fall back into the Sleep and be lost to him forever.

Haran, of course, had rolled his eyes in the beginning and stated that he could very well dress himself, but Thorin had somehow managed to convince his love to allow him this in the mornings. He had no doubt that it had a lot to do with the fact that Haran was much more content and pliable in the mornings.

Haran's weapons, however, would not be applied by anyone besides himself. That was something that he would not sway on. Thorin, however, did not even attempt to argue that point. Haran was a soldier and, just like any soldier, his weapons had to be sat perfectly against his body or he wouldn't feel comfortable. Thorin was the same and they stood side by side as they armed themselves with small weapons so as not to make the council think they were coming in armed for war.

* * *

"Balin is to meet us in the conference room," Thorin said as they finished their breakfast. He was feeling very proud of himself for winning the beauty that was his husband after all the compliments that Haran had gotten. When they had first married, any compliment given to Haran was seen as someone trying to hit on his husband and had made Thorin jealous and angry. He learned, though, not to think of it that way when Haran had hit him for stepping between him and the people with a face of threat one too many times. Now he could only feel proud for marrying this strong beautiful dwarf.

Well, he still got jealous whenever someone of a different race complimented Haran, but his beloved would only roll his eyes and step around any protective gesture he tried so it was rather a moot point.

"Oh thank goodness," Haran smiled. "Negotiations always seem to go better with him there."

"Are you saying that I can't negotiate?" Thorin pretended to look affronted, but the truth was that he was well aware that Balin was the negotiator out of them. But it wasn't just Balin that made negotiations go smoother. It was all three of them together. Balin was the calm and rational one who knew how to explain their point of view. Haran was the emotional one who could incite both peace and the chaos of emotion should he desire. And Thorin was the royal head with a commanding voice that could call anyone back to the attention of his meetings and ultimately decided what was best for the people whether the council liked it or not.

"You are absolutely horrible," Haran sighed sarcastically, though his smile was loving. "I honestly don't know how we ever manage to get a good deal when you're the one in charge of negotiations."

"Hey!" Thorin growled, moving the arm around Haran's waist in a way that he knew would tickle his husband. It had the desired effect as Haran let out a short giggle.

"Don't worry love," he smiled, pausing just long enough to lean up and give Thorin a kiss on the cheek. "You'll do fine this time… Since Balin's going to be there."

Thorin laughed. Honestly, he didn't know how he ever thought he was happy before taking the dwarf as his own.


	13. Reunions in the Company and Nighttime Cuddles: Kili discovers the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was requested by Rubina a long time ago and it has taken me the longest time to figure out how I wanted to write it. I'm so sorry about that. Enraptured reader also requested it and gave me the idea to make it in Kili's POV.
> 
> Thank you so much for requesting this chapter and please feel free to request any others that you would like to see.

Kili watched as Nori and Bofur slipped into the woods when they finally settled for the evening. They had been inseparable from the moment Bilbo had knocked them into each other and Kili couldn't help, but be jealous of them. No one should blame him, as those who had yet to find their One often felt jealous of the more fortunate, but for some reason they probably did. At least they had in the past. The first time that he had seen someone meet their one he had asked his mother and she had only said that he was the lucky one because he didn't feel the Seperation like others did. He didn't understand how that made him, lucky, though. If it was true that he didn't feel Seperation like others, did that mean that this pain was not common? What did that say about him? How did that make him lucky? He tried to ask the dwarves in the Blue Mountains, but they always said something similar. It was annoying and Kili clutched his chest more and more as the pain slowly increased, though he never showed this to any of his relatives.

Nori and Bofur passed Bilbo as they went into the woods and a sudden epiphany came to Kili. If none of his own kind would speak to him, then maybe he could ask someone else. "I'm going to go talk to Bilbo," he said to Fili. They didn't often announce what they were doing as where one went the other would follow, but there were some times where one wanted to be alone and so they told the other in this way.

"Okay," Fili said with a nod, though Kili could see a frown behind it. His brother always worried too much. Especially when Kili left his side. It made Kili more happy then he would ever be able to express, but he often felt bad for worrying his brother. He could offer to allow Fili to come with him, but for some reason he had never liked to have his brother around when he asked the others about Soulmates.

Kili stood quickly and approached Bilbo before he could change his mind. At this point he was sure that they knew Bilbo well enough that he could ask something so personal, but that didn't make it any less awkward to ask someone outside of his own kin. The only thing that made it okay in his mind was how alike Bilbo was to Uncle Haran. Uncle Haran would have explained everything to him without mentioning how lucky everyone seemed to believe him to be.

"Can I help you with something Kili?" Bilbo asked, motioning for Kili to sit next to him.

"I was just wondering if you could tell me about soul mates," Kili mumbled. It was already embarrassing enough to be at his age and still not know much about Soulmates. The other kids were usually brought aside as soon as they reached their majority and all was explained to them, but Balin had simply told him that he didn't need to explain anything to Kili. That was when Kili wondered if he even had a Soulmate. Maybe his Soulmate was already dead or nonexistent and everyone knew and was trying to protect him from it.

"Why do you want to know?" Bilbo asked with a curious frown and Kili sighed when Bilbo didn't immediately laugh as others did.

Kili took a deep breath and reminded himself that Bilbo was very like Uncle Haran. He would not judge Kili based on some luck that he didn't believe that he actually had. "Every time I ask the others, they always say that I don't have to worry about it," he said. With the first words out Kili calmed immediately. It was easier to talk to Bilbo then he thought it would be. "but I don't understand why they say that. I feel the Separation just like anyone else." At least he hoped it was the Separation because if it wasn't it would break his heart.

Bilbo's eyes widened. "You do?" he asked. Why did everyone think that he didn't? Was there some sign that he was missing or something? Some sign that he was apparently giving off that said he didn't feel Separation?

"Of course I do," Kili sighed. "Why does everyone think that I don't? It doesn't feel like the others say it does, though." and that concerned Kili more than anything. He could have patiently waited for his Soulmate if it had felt like the others described, but the more pain there was the more he feared that maybe he had already lost his Intended before he even met him. "They say it just feels like you're empty, but it really hurts."

Bilbo's eyes turned sad as he shook his head. "Oh Kili," he said. "That's not the Separation you're feeling."

"It's not?" Then it was as Kili feared. He didn't have a Soulmate and the dwarves were all just trying to be nice by not telling him.

Bilbo took hold of Kili's arm and turned to face him more fully. "You must promise to listen to everything that I say before you decide any judgements," he said and Kili nodded. Even if he wasn't going to like whatever it was, he had a right to know. Despite what everyone still seemed to believe, he wasn't a child anymore and he could handle whatever horrible thing Bilbo would say to him. "What you're feeling is a type of Rejection."

"Rejection?" Kili gaped. His Soulmate actually was alive, but had just Rejected him. Kili wanted to feel happy that his One was not dead, but the sudden realization that he was not good enough overcame any happy feelings he might have had on the matter. "Then my soul mate doesn't want me." At least Bilbo was honest with him. He did not try to sugar coat things and he did not try to lie to Kili's face. Kili was right to think him just like Uncle Haran.

"No," Bilbo scolded. "You said you would listen to everything. Now hush up and let me finish." Kili nodded. What else could be said? Rejection was Rejection. How could that change? But maybe there was a chance that it was like his Uncle's Rejection. Uncle Thorin had once told him that he had wanted Uncle Haran for some time after Rejecting him, but just wasn't able to fix things. He had told him that he had always regretted giving his One so much pain and maybe Kili's Intended would feel the same. "The type of Rejection that you're feeling is called Unconscious Rejection. It's very rare and usually it's brought about by two soul mates meeting when one or both of them are very young. The older of the two thinks that the younger is too young and that it would be best for the older to tell the younger about their bond later in life. After some time avoiding the subject the older unconsciously Rejects the younger in an attempt to keep their bond a secret."

Kili's eyes widened. That explained why everyone thought that he didn't feel the Separation. He must have met his One before he could remember and everyone but him knew of it. Perhaps they didn't tell him anything because they were waiting for his Soulmate to reveal themself. "But I'm old enough now. Why hasn't my soul mate come forward yet?"

"Perhaps he's scared of what you'll think," Bilbo suggested. Kili thought that over for a moment, but what really caught his attention was Bilbo's use of "he". How did the hobbit who had never met their group before know more about his soul mate than him? It's not like the other dwarves would talk to him about it. And, for that matter, how did Bilbo know that it was Unconscious Rejection without any sort of background information except that he thought Separation was painful? "There are more reasons than just age to keep a bond a secret."

"What reasons?" Kili asked. Perhaps if he could get rid of those reasons, his Intended would come forward.

"I'm sure you'll find out when your soul mate reveals himself to you," Bilbo said as he stood. Kili frowned. Again with the specific gender. How did Bilbo know all this? It didn't make any sense. Was it possible that Bilbo knew more about their group then he was letting on? But how could that be? Dwarves were a very secretive people. The only people they would ever tell such secrets to were their own kin and Bilbo most certainly was not a dwarf. Unless he had been. Kili wasn't much of one to study, but he like fantasy stories and he had seen in more than one book about a soul mate being reincarnated. He had once been told that fantasies all had some root in truth. Was reincarnation actually possible? Was it possible that Bilbo had once been a dwarf?

Kili was so lost in thought that he didn't realize that Bilbo was talking to Fili until his elder brother came to stand before him. There was a desperate look in his eyes that Kili had only seen one time after he had been too reckless with his grief of losing Uncle Haran and had horrible injured himself. Fili ducked down and kissed him and Kili's eyes widened as the pain suddenly disappeared. Of course it was his brother. He should have known. There was no one else who could fit so well with them. Kili reached up and wrapped his arms around his brother, clinging desperately when it seemed like Fili would move away from him. "I'm sorry little brother," Fili muttered and that was all Kili could hear even though the other dwarves were yelling raucously at them. Kili could only smile at his brother as Fili pulled him up and away from the group.

* * *

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Kili asked. They were far enough away that the main group couldn't hear them, but that they would be able to return quickly if need be. Fili had brought him here and here they stood with their heads pressed together. It was the happiest Kili had ever felt.

"I didn't want you to hate me," Fili said. "I'm so sorry. I didn't know I was hurting you. I would have come forward much sooner if I had known."

"Why did you come forward now then?" Kili asked. Not that he was unhappy about it. He was just a very curious dwarf and his brother understood if the grin was anything to go by.

"Mr. Bilbo told me off for hurting you," he said. "He told me that I had been Rejecting you and warned me that I needed to Accept you before you fell to Sickness."

"Would I have?" Kili asked. It wasn't that he thought he was too strong for it, as he knew some dwarves did. Uncle Haran was one of the strongest dwarves he ever knew and even he had fallen so far as to go into the Sleep. That was one story that Uncle Thorin had told them once when he had been loose lipped about his griefs after returning from a tavern.

"You did once," Fili said, closing his eyes at the memory. "When the dragon came I was separated from mother. She gave birth to you while I wasn't there and you fell Sick because we were supposed to be together from the very beginning. I was barely able to make it to you in time."

"I didn't know that," Kili said.

"Few did," Fili agreed. "Amad didn't even tell Uncle Thorin about it. Such was her fear of losing you."

Kili frowned. If it was that much of a secret, then how would Bilbo know even if he was somehow reincarnated. There had to be a healer that would know and probably a couple of guards that would at least be suspicious, but that just didn't seem right. There was something that was niggling at him, but he just couldn't put all the pieces together. "Who knew then?" he asked.

Fili opened his eyes and there was a suspicion there. Fili knew when his brother was trying to figure something out. People always thought that the elder was the smartest of the two and it was true in most cases, but Fili would never beat Kili's abilities in quick deduction of people. "I was very young," he said, "but I'm sure that Amad was there along with a healer and I think there was two guards."

"But how did you get there?"

"Uncle Haran carried me to you," Fili said.

"Uncle Haran?" Kili asked breathlessly. Bilbo knowing that Fili was his Soulmate. Bilbo scolding them like Uncle Haran. Bilbo not liking riding ponies despite actually really liking them. Was it possible…?

"What is it?" Fili asked.

"Do you think that it's possible that Bilbo is Uncle Haran?" Kili asked. Kili was fast to deduction, but he wasn't always right so he always waited for his brother to confirm his thoughts before truly relying on them. Especially in moments like these when it meant so much to them.

Fili thought for a moment and then his eyes widened. "I heard him humming the prayer the other day, but I thought I had been hearing things."

Yet still, this was so important that they had to confirm it, but they let themselves hope.

* * *

It took them a few nights before they gathered up the courage to approach Bilbo about his past, though part of that was because they just wanted to be together after being Reunited without thought to anyone else. This night was perfect too because they had first watch. They would let Bilbo sleep for some time before waking him and catching him off guard in the haze of clinging sleep. Kili had wanted to go right up to Bilbo and asked, but Fili had said that Bilbo had been hiding it for a reason and would probably deny them if they asked outright. This whole plan had been the elder's idea and Kili trusted him.

"Uncle," Kili whispered, shaking Bilbo's shoulder to jostle him awake. "Uncle Haran."

Bilbo grinned at them sleepily, though only one eye was barely open in his half wakefulness. "Yes Kili?" he asked, obviously holding off a yawn.

"I had a nightmare," Kili said. It had always been his excuse when he was younger to crawl into the comfort of his Uncle's arms. Only Uncle Haran would ever accept it without question too.

"Was it a bad one?" Bilbo asked even as he lifted his blanket slightly for Fili and Kili to slip in beside him just as Uncle Haran would do.

"No," Kili shook said, inching forward to the welcoming embrace of his Uncle because there was no way that Bilbo wasn't Uncle Haran, "but can… Can we sleep with you anyway?" They were too old to be seeking their uncle's comfort in sleep, but they would not lose this chance with their long lost Uncle.

Bilbo hummed and Kili crawled under the blanket followed by his brother who also spread out their own blankets since Bilbo's was not large enough to cover two let alone three of them. Bilbo gave a confused noise when they were bigger than he was expecting, but burrowed into them as he once did in the past. Kili couldn't hold back the watery smile that he sent back to his brother and Fili returned one of his own. Uncle Haran had returned to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. This chapter turned out a lot longer than I was expecting it to, but I guess Kili thinks a lot so I guess it makes sense. Thank you guys for reading!


	14. Nighttime Cuddles: Morning Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was kind of requested by Oggy, though they only asked for the last part.

"Fili," Kili whispered to his brother who slept next to him in the bed they shared. It was nearing midnight, but Kili just couldn't sleep. "Fili wake up."

"What is it Kili?" Fili mumbled, rubbing at his eyes even as he sat up so he would remain awake.

"Do you think something's going on?" Kili asked.

"What do you mean?" Fili asked, stretching the sleep from himself. They would probably be moving to one of the adult's rooms anyway if Kili's face was anything to go by.

"Why is Uncle Haran going with Uncle Thorin hunting? He never goes hunting." Kili said.

"Hmm," Fili thought for a moment. "I don't know. Why does that bother you little brother? Do you think something is going on?" Fili was the smartest of the two, but he had already learned to trust his brother's instincts with things like these. Sometimes Kili missed things and Fili was quick to correct him when he did, but more often than not the youngest of the family saw more than people thought he did.

"Well," Kili said. "Don't you need to use a bow to hunt? Uncle Haran can't use a bow."

"Not really," Fili said. "Some dwarves using throwing axes and some who are really good throw knives." It was Fili's goal to one day be able to kill a full grown buck with a throwing knife.

"But," Kili said, "Uncle Haran doesn't throw axes."

"But he does throw knives," Fili said.

Kili frowned, but nodded. His brother's knowledge was sound and Kili never once doubted it, but this whole thing still bothered him. "But then why hasn't he gone before."

"Maybe he just preferred to stay home with us."

"But then why is he going now?"

"Maybe he just wanted to have a bit of sport. I've sometimes heard people say they grow tired of staying home with the young and wishing to go out for sport."

"Uncle Haran doesn't get tired of us," Kili said. "He always smiles when he gets to watch us."

"That's true," Fili nodded solemnly. "But maybe he wanted to spend more time with Uncle Thorin. Uncle Thorin has been away a lot lately and they haven't really been able to spend much time together." Fili knew that if he was forced to spend that much time away from Kili he would find reasons to spend more time with him.

Kili quietened as he leaned against Fili's shoulder, the older of the two keeping steady for them both. He could find no flaw in Fili's logic. He had often seen Uncle Haran missing Uncle Thorin when he was away and knew that he would want to spend more time with his husband, but it still didn't sit right with him. there was something more going on he was sure, but he just couldn't figure it out. Then another thought came to him. "Fili?" Fili hummed tiredly, his eyes closed even as he kept them sat upright. "Why are great grandfather and grandfather joining the hunt?"

At this Fili could not think of a reason. Their grandfather did often join hunts, but their great grandfather only left the mountain on business of trade or such things and only when their grandfather could take their place. With Great Grandfather, Grandfather, and Uncle Thorin away, it would fall to Amad to take care of the mountain. That never happened. At most it fell to Uncle Thorin and Amad would aid him, but never solely to her. "I don't know, Kili."

"Fili?" Kili said. "I don't think they're really going hunting." And Fili had to agree to that. The only reason for them to leave the mountain in the hands of the last person in succession was if they were going off to battle. "Do you think they'll be okay?"

"I don't know," Fili said, clinging to his brother. They would not be getting any sleep tonight after all.

Kili climbed from the bed, pulling his brother with him when Fili would not let him go. They were going to their Uncles' room than, Fili thought as he followed his brother out into the hall.

Their Uncles' room was down the hall from theirs and they had to creep past their mother's to get their. He door was open and Fili glanced in long enough to see his Amad still awake, though she stared off into the distance unseeing. Fili had only ever seen her look like that when she remembered the dragon and the loss of their Adad.

Kili opened their Uncles' door with a creak and raced to the bed. Uncle Haran always slept closest to the door and Fili helped his brother climb up next to him before climbing up himself. "Uncle Haran?" Kili whispered as he shook Uncle's shoulder just as he had done with Fili.

"What is it little one?" Uncle Haran asked. "Did you have a nightmare?"

"No," Kili shook his head, "but can we sleep with you anyway?"

Uncle Haran immediately raised the blankets and Kili crawled underneath, completely missing the raised eyebrow their uncle was giving them. He also completely missed that Uncle Thorin was staring at them, more awake than Uncle Haran. It seemed that Uncle Haran was the only one actually getting any sleep this night. Fili nodded to Uncle Thorin before climbing under the blankets and wrapping his arms around his brother. This was going to be worse than they thought. He was sure of it now.

Uncle Haran waited for them all to get comfortable before he started drifting off once more, but Kili woke him. "Uncle Haran?"

"Yes Kili?"

"Uncle Thorin says that you and him are going to go on a hunting trip with Great Grandpa Thror," Kili said. Kili wanted to say more and Fili nuzzled the back of his neck to encourage him, but the words wouldn't come out until Uncle Haran spoke.

"That's right," their uncle said. "Your mother will be staying behind this time."

"But you never go on hunting trips," Kili said, working his way up to his point.

"I thought I would like to go on one this time," Haran lied. "I haven't been out hunting for a very long time and I miss it."

It was a good excuse, but Kili had already worked past it in their room and he would not be swayed. "Uncle Haran?" he asked and their uncle hummed. "Are you really going on a hunting trip?"

Uncle Haran started. He was quick to recollect himself, but Fili still saw it. "We will be hunting," he said. There was a dark look in his eye that Fili had never once seen in him before. Whatever they were hunting was not going to be the usual sort of game.

There was nothing that they could say then to change his mind. He would not be kept here while Uncle Thorin went off into danger. "Will you promise to come back?" Kili begged, coming to the same realization as Fili.

"I will do my best to return," Uncle Haran said.

Fili should have left it at that. He should have allowed that comfort for his brother, but he was smart enough not to take such a sidestep as truth. "That's not a promise," he said.

"I promise that I will do my best to return," Uncle Haran said. It still wasn't quite what they wanted, but their Uncle was a master of words. They would not get any better than this.

"We love you Uncle Haran," Kili whispered. "We'll miss you."

Uncle Haran hugged them tighter and Fili tried to ignore the tears in his Uncle's eyes.

* * *

The next morning everyone woke early and Fili had to hold his brother as they both cried for the loss of their uncles as they went off to battle. Thorin pressed his forehead to Fili's and whispered, "I promise that I will protect him. I will bring him back." It was the only thing that consoled Kili if only a little.

* * *

Many weeks past with them two of them sitting at the window until Amad practically pulled them away from it. Kili's normal cheerfulness was nowhere to be seen during that whole time despite Fili's every attempt to make him happy again. It was a hard thing when he himself felt the loss of their uncles just as keenly and Kili probably picked up on it.

And then one day as a storm was brewing on the horizon a dwarf came racing across the path yelling. "They return! They return!"

Fili and Kili jumped from their perch, pulled on their boots and raced out of their home before their mother could catch them. "Wait!" she called after them, but they would not wait. Their Uncles returned and they were keen to see them.

As soon as the group came into view, however, Fili pulled his brother to a halt. It was as much to stop the younger as it was to comfort himself. There was not nearly as many dwarves returning as had left. The battle was hard fought and the loss so great that Fili couldn't tell if they had won it or not. Their Great Grandfather who should have been leading the march was nowhere to be seen. Neither was their Grandfather. Instead it was Uncle Thorin who lead their people. Alone.

"Where's Uncle Haran?" Kili asked, his eyes watery and wide. Their mother came just in time to catch Kili before he could break free of Fili's hold. "Where's Uncle Haran?"

Their Uncle's eyes were blank, darkened by all the death that he had seen. The skin around his eyes wasn't swollen, but Fili could make out faint tear tracks down the dirt on his face. He had been crying and then he went blank. For their people, Fili knew. He could not feel anything when their people were so in need.

"Where's Uncle Haran?!" Kili screamed as the group finally separated to grieve in their own homes.

Uncle Thorin stood before them, shoulders slumped and Fili tried to pull his brother into a hug, but Kili resisted.

"Thorin?" Amad asked.

"My husband-" Uncle Thorin choked as the tears welled again. "My husband fought bravely and fell fighting a great foe." There was a pause as Thorin leaned his head against Amad's shoulder and Fili could no longer look as his Uncle began to sob, tears hidden in his sister's shoulder. "I couldn't save him, Dis. I couldn't get to him in time."

"But you promised!" Kili yelled. "You promised you would bring him back!" Fili had to physically drag his brother into his arms and bury his face in his brother's shoulder as they cried. "He promised!" Kili sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry Oggy, but I kind of think I dislike you just a little right now. How could you make me write this?! I even cried a little while writing the last part!


	15. Out of the Frying Pan: and into the Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin is caught being kissed by a dam and everything goes downhill from there (by his own fault)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was requested by LadyLaran and I have really been wanting to do it too, so I guess I also requested it. Please let me know if you have any requests for which chapter you want me to do next.

Thorin had a lot of thinking to do and not the least of which was about his Soul Mate. The one that he had scorned and had still treated him with respect and friendliness. He proved himself both smart and very capable of dealing with politics. He even proved that he was a very capable fighter, though Thorin hadn't actually seen him do any fighting. So what now was there to keep him from Accepting his One? Well, that much was obvious enough. He had already Rejected Haran and by the awkwardness of their reactions in Rivendell and all the chance encounters that they'd been having since Haran's return, it was not likely that the other dwarf would forgive him so easily. He needed to think carefully about how he was going to apologize to his One and prove himself worthy of Acceptance.

He was so distracted that he didn't even notice a hand coming out of a dark alleyway until he was against a wall with a dwarrowdam's lips on his own. Had he had his guards or even Dwalin with him he never would have been caught so unaware, but he had wanted time alone and had retreated to the marketplace without informing anyone for that very purpose.

Thorin was so shocked by the forwardness of this dwarrowdam that he didn't react even when she pulled back from him. "Hey hottie," she said with what was surely supposed to be a sexy smirk, "do you want to have some fun tonight. I may not be your Soul Mate, but I can show you a good time." She didn't even give him a chance to answer before she was back on him again, her tongue shoving into his mouth, which had been opened to tell the damn dam off.

A gasp came from the mouth of the alley and Thorin whipped his head around as he shoved the dwarrowdam away from him. The last thing he wanted was for someone to catch him in an apparent tryst and for it to eventually get to Haran as it surely would in this mountain.

And yet something even worse stood watching the two of them. Haran was staring wide-eyed at the two of them with a look in his eye that spoke of nothing but betrayal. His hands shook slightly as Thorin had never seen them do and Haran quickly crossed his arms to hide it as he attempted to compose himself.

"What are you looking at?" the damn dam asked of his Intended and Thorin scowled at her. How dare she speak to Haran in such a way? She had no right and Thorin would not stand for it.

Suddenly, it was as though Haran had never been so surprised and his eyes narrowed as his lips pulled into a scowl. "I was just wondering how desperate you had to be that you would snog a dwarf in a dirty alley. Couldn't get any nicer accomodations?" Thorin winced. Haran surely thought that they were sneaking some time together and that Thorin was not being faithful to him. "I do hope you're not thinking that you will somehow become pregnant and be forced to marry."

The dam stuttered and Thorin's scowl deepened. How dare she think that such a ploy would actually work. It wasn't an uncommon thing for the line of Durin to marry a dam if there was no Soul Mate to avoid a bastard, but it was also common for them to lay with a dam to have an heir if their Soul Mate would bare them none. This dam would get nothing from him. Thorin grabbed her arm so hard that she was literally shoved back several steps. "Go away," he growled, looking at his Intended. He would show this dam what consequences come from such aspirations.

The look of wide-eyed hurt came back to Haran's eyes as his hand clutched against his chest as though his heart pained him. He bit his lip and nodded before turning away. Only then did Thorin realize what it must look like that he is choosing this dam above his One, but before he could open his mouth to correct the other, Haran was already walking away from the two of them.

"Finally," the dam smirked. "Now that that nuisance is gone, we can get back to it."

Thorin's grip tightened and he pulled the dam closer. "You will regret ever thinking yourself worthy of me. I will take you to Dwalin and he will deal with the likes of you. I have no time for the likes of you."

* * *

Thorin had every intention of dropping the damn dam off with Dwalin who would give her the greatest possible punishment for her crime and go straight to Haran to apologize for the misunderstanding. Yet he couldn't find the dwarf anywhere. Not even at Haran's house where no one was even home. He resolved to speak to the other the next day, but still he couldn't find him.

It took him weeks to find Haran. He swore that he saw him every now and again out of the corner of his eye, but never could he actually get to the other. That is until he finally caught Haran in the market. Except at that point he had lost a little more of his nerves. Normally Thorin would not be so nervous about anything, but at this point it had just been too long of a wait between the ill deed and the apology. It wasn't actually Thorin's fault, of course, but all these transgressions were just adding up and he was starting to believe that there was no way that he was ever going to receive Haran's forgiveness.

"Just go talk to him," said Balin. "He deserves an apology and he'll understand if you explain everything to him." The old dwarf was a good advisor and Thorin took courage from his words, finally setting off to catch up with the dwarf who had not yet seen him.

The dwarves in the market parted ways for the prince, seeing that he was on a mission on not wanting the trouble of getting in a royal's way and that in turn attracted Haran's attention to him. Thorin hoped that Haran would see him coming and would stop to speak to him as the other often did in the past, but he was wrong. Haran did not stop when he looked upon Thorin, but instead turned in the opposite direction, dropping whatever it was that he was looking to buy so he wouldn't have to take the time to pay for it. Thorin's heart stuttered at that. He knew that he had been unkind to Haran thus far, but never until this moment did the dwarf openly avoid him. Had Thorin's deeds been too much after all? Would Haran ever forgive him for all the horrible things that he had done to his Intended? Would Haran finally Reject him and put all this to rest? Would Haran not be better without him? Isn't that what Thorin had wanted? No. No that's not what he wants now.

"Haran," he said, trying to get the other's attention without making a scene. Haran did not respond. "Haran." He wanted to say please, but princes do not ask for someone's attention. They demanded it. "I'm talking to you," he said, finally catching Haran's arm.

Immediately Haran stood straight and all expression was lost from his face. It was just like the time that Thorin had rejected Haran and had the prince been any other dwarf he would have cringed to see it again. "I do apologize my prince," Haran said with a mock bow, but then he winced and Thorin knew that he was not actually trying to insult him. He wasn't sure that he should be happy that his Intended was not trying to insult despite all that he has done or by upset that Haran was so angry with him that he couldn't keep the mock out of his voice. "What do you need?"

He chose anger if only because it was the easiest emotion to feel. "You have no right to be angry with me," Thorin said because it really wasn't his fault. He was not be unfaithful to his Intended. It was the dam that had pulled him aside and he had taken care of her already.

Haran's face contorted into something that Thorin had never seen directed at him before. A look of utter betrayal and disgust mixed with a loathing unfathomable. It did not become his Intended who he had already come to know was a calm dwarf not quick to anger. "I have no right?" he asked incredulously. "I have every right." He did. He had the only right. Of course he did, but Thorin didn't like the way this conversation was going. If people in the city disloyal to Thorin or his family learned of Haran's status, then there was no knowing what they would do to him.

"What right do you have?" Thorin asked, glancing around them surreptitiously to see all were staring at them and hoping that Haran would take the hint.

"The right of your Intended!" Haran yelled and all grew quiet. Thorin's eyes widened as Haran's head turned down. All would know. Haran would be in danger. He couldn't let that happen. He wouldn't let Haran fall into any danger because of him. it was his duty to protect his Soulmate. He would do whatever it took to protect his One.

"How dare you claim such a thing!" he yelled loud enough that everyone would hear. Everyone would hear and think that they were not truly meant to be together. "No matter how many times you stalk me or how many lies you spread, you will not get any gold or jewels from me." They would think Haran was a liar, but even that dishonor was surely better then death. Surely this was the right thing to do.

Haran's head shot up and his eyes widened, the betrayal dimming them, and then a darkness overcame them and they narrowed. All this Thorin barely saw in the instant before he felt a sharp slap across his cheek. "I want nothing from you." The prince stumbled back and his fists tightened at his side from pure instinct, but did not lash back at his intended. He deserved that. Mahal, he deserved that. He was doing this whole thing wrong. He never should have said that about Haran. He should have Accepted him then in front of all these onlookers and assigned as many guards as his father would spare to protect his Intended whenever he was unable to be by his side. But now he had surely ruined everything. Haran would Reject him now and the bond would be broken forever and it was all his fault.

Thorin opened his mouth to beg forgiveness. He would even grovel at Haran's feet if need be, but his Intended had already left him to stand frozen in the middle of the market for all to stare at the stupid prince who had ruined everything. A hand grabbed his arm tightly and Thorin struggled against the pain of it until he saw that it was Dwalin glaring at him as though he were an orc or worse an elf. On his other side, Balin looked no more pleased than his younger brother. "That was not explaining yourself."


	16. Between Into the Fire and Haran's Fall and Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vorin will do whatever it takes to save his son, even if that means that he must do nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LadyLaran just suggested a chapter where we see Haran's family talking to Thorin's about Haran's Sickness and it made me wonder how that would go and then I just couldn't get it out of my head until I wrote it. I swear I am still working on the other requests, but I couldn't not write this one immediately.

"Vorin," the Lady Tara said as she emerged from her youngest son's room looking more than a little exhausted from her sleepless night. Ever since her child had grown ill, the family had taken turns watching over him. Taran was now sitting with his little brother to give her a break. She should go and sleep, get some rest while she could, but she couldn't sleep with her son like this.

"How does he fare?" Vorin asked, looking up from his blank stare into the fireplace. These last few weeks had been hard on all of them. Haran was trying to make it seem like he wasn't truly ill. He was trying to be just like he ever was and the family had to pretend that they didn't see what was truly happening.

Tara fell into her husband and let the tears fall as they always did when she left Haran's room. "He's not going to last much longer," she said. "I'm going to lose my baby." Vorin could say nothing even as he stroked her hair. As a royal guard he would sooner cut off his beard than speak ill of the royal family no matter how much he thought it. "There's nothing I can do. I don't know what to do."

"Sleep," Vorin said. "You need to rest. We all need to keep our strength up. For Haran's sake." Haran wanted his last days on Middle Earth to be normal and that's what they would make it.

Tara stood straight and her eyes were determinedly hard. "For Haran's sake," she agreed. "Where are you going?" she asked, only just now noticing that Vorin's sword was strapped to his hip.

"I wish to speak to Prince Thrain," Vorin said and they both knew that he was really saying that he wished to beg for the prince's aid in getting Prince Thorin to Accept their son. If only so that he would survive.

"Taran will wish to go with you," she said.

"Which is why I go now," he said. Taran was a hot headed dwarf when it came to his little brother and neither of them thought that he would keep his calm even in front of the crowned prince that they served.

"Then go," she said. "I will not hope." For they had lost all hope the day Haran had come back from the market in tears and locked himself in his room only to come out again the next morning with a horrible cough that he tried to hide. It didn't not take them long to hear the gossip of just why their son had been so distraught and it took them less time to figure out what ailed him.

"Nor I," said Vorin. There was little that Prince Thrain could do in the matter of Prince Thorin's heart. Vorin was only going to him as a desperate father trying every last option he could think to save his son no matter how unlikely they were to work.

* * *

Prince Thrain was in the King's private chambers when Vorin searched for them yet he was still admitted to see them. They both wore deep frowns and sad eyes, but not nearly as miserable as Vorin's own. "Come in," said the king. "Please sit. You look tired."

"Forgive me, your highness, but I cannot stay long," said Vorin, refusing the seat, though he did step beside it. It wasn't that he didn't want to sit down, he was so exhausted that he could barely keep to his feet, but standing was the only thing keeping his respectful posture true.

"You have come about what happened in the market," Prince Thrain said and Vorin was glad of it. Now that he was here he didn't actually know what in the world he was going to say. "We have heard from what Thorin has done to your son from Balin."

"We were discussing how we should punish him," said King Thror. The young prince had not truly done anything illegal and worthy of any punishment but as a son and grandson he had done something so heinous that his father and grandfather would punish him without law. "Perhaps you would like to help us find a proper punishment for him to atone for what he has done to your son."

"We don't-" Vorin started too quickly, but he stopped himself so as not to sound disrespectful. "I didn't come here to demand punishments."

"Then why have you come?" Prince Thrain asked. "If it is to demand an apology, rest assured that my wife will drag him to your house by the ears if she needs to."

"I did not come for apologies either," said Vorin, finally gaining his strength to speak. He was already away from his son for too long. He needed to get this over and done with so he can return and be by his side. "I've come to you because my son-" at this he choked. The words were just too hard to say. No father should have to bury their child. Especially not the youngest of the two Mahal had blessed him with. "My son is dying. We do not expect him to live through to next month."

The King's eyes widened and Prince Thror jerked up from his seat. "The Sickness? Is the bond really that strong?" he asked and Vorin nodded. "I'm going to strangle that idiot of a boy." The crowned prince was not one quick to anger, having been taught patience from a young age, and Vorin had only seen it on him a handful of times. He was honestly surprised to see such a reaction in regards to his son. He had, of course, expected some righteous anger as the son of a good friend was dying because of his own son, but not nearly this much. "I will drag him to your home myself and make him get on his knees. He will Accept your son if I have any say in the matter."

That's exactly what Vorin had come to beg for, but now that it was offered he realized just how selfish it was. Surely Haran could have asked for something similar before now. He could have asked Thorin to Accept him just to keep him alive, but he was too kind to bind a dwarf to him that didn't want anything to do with him and it was selfish of Vorin to do it despite him. "Please don't."

Prince Thrain stopped his pacing and both he and his father stared at Vorin. "Why did you come here then?" asked the king.

"I don't know," Vorin replied. Now that he denied what he came here for there truly was no reason for him to leave his young son's side. "I just wanted to let you know."

Prince Thrain's righteous anger deflated and he approached Vorin with sadness in his eyes. "I understand," he said, tapping their heads together. "Go home now to your son. I will not expect you or your son back at the guard for some time."

"Thank you," Vorin said. This was it. All hope was lost for their son. Haran would die and there was nothing any of them could do. He turned to leave and barely kept the tears from falling.

* * *

Vorin was so distracted with his thoughts about his youngest that he did not hear fighting until he came upon his elder son attacking the young prince of Erebor with every intention of at least causing serious injury. Thorin was holding his own, but it was clear that he was trying not to hurt Taran and that put him at a disadvantage. "What is going on here?" Vorin demanded, his voice the strongest it had been for some time. He may not like Thorin very much right now, but the prince was still one of his charges as a royal guard. One of his son's too.

Taran did not stop, so blinded by anger he was. Vorin had to physically restrain him and even then, he was yelling profanities at the prince who just stood watching them. "Calm down," Vorin said.

"I will not," Taran said. "Not when he stands before me as though he-"

"Taran!" Vorin hissed. His son would have told Thorin of Haran's plight, but it was not their right. "Go back to your brother."

Taran straightened at his father's scolding and looked very much like the soldier he was when on duty. Vorin was sure that he looked the same. They may not be able to fight for Haran, but this was a battle nonetheless. They had to soldier through it even if all they could was watch. "Mother sent me for firewood," he said. Normally their house was warm enough that they did not need fire, but Haran had been shivering so they kept a fire lit constantly in his room.

"Then go get it," Vorin said. "Do not keep her waiting."

Taran nodded, but before any of them could react, he forced Thorin against the wall with a hand on his collar. "If you hurt Haran any more than you already have, not even my father will stop me from killing you." Then he let go and raced down the cavern to the market.

"I apologize for my son's behavior," Vorin said, though he wished he could do the same.

"It's fine," Prince Throin replied, though he would not look Vorin in the eye.

"What has brought you down here?" Vorin asked. His house was not near the market nor near the guard's station. There was no reason for the young prince to be visiting them except maybe to talk to his son. Some hope returned to him. Perhaps the prince would Accept his son after all and return him from the dead.

"It's nothing," Thorin said. "I was just leaving."

"Would you like to come inside?" Vorin asked, not letting any of the desperation into his voice.

Thorin scowled at their house, breaking that hope Vorin had just gained, and shook his head. "I was just leaving." The prince would not Accept his son. It looked more like he hated the very thought of seeing him. There was nothing that could be done.

"Very well," Vorin said. "Good day my prince." He turned back to his home without bowing to the young prince. It was the only disrespect he would allow himself, though he wished he could do so much more.

"Well?" Tara asked when he opened the door.

"Prince Thrain promised to drag Prince Thorin here and make him Accept our son," Vorin replied.

"And you denied him?" Tara asked.

"I did."

"Good," she said. She understood just as Vorin did that that was not what Haran would want.


	17. Acceptance: Haran's Fall and Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin wants to Accept Haran, but things get in his way and he is too late, but he will not give up now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: So I was originally trying to write these extras in order, but that is clearly not happening so I've decided that I'm going to start doing them based on requests. Hopefully that'll make them come out more quickly. I will still post them in the order of I See Fire, though, so the new chapters might not always be the last chapter. I hope this is not inconvenient to you guys. Thank you so much for reading and please feel free to send me any requests of Extras you'd like to see.
> 
> This chapter was requested by Susangel and Vita (I hope I spelled those names right)

**Chapter 22 memory in Thorin's POV**

"Are you actually going to speak to him today?" Frerin asked as they stood outside Haran's home. "You've come here every day for weeks and you still haven't done so."

"If he doesn't I'm going to force him," Dwalin said.

Thorin only scowled at the two of them. So what if it was taking him a little bit of time to form his words. It was, after all, his inability with words that had caused this whole mess with Haran and his Intended deserved a well thought out apology.

"Didn't Balin say that he was suffering from the Sickness. The longer you take the sicker he gets," Frerin said.

"How did you hear that?" Thorin scowled. He and Balin had been alone when the advisor gave him the horrible news and Balin would never betray his confidence about something like that.

"Dis told me," Frerin shrugged. Of course their sister would have been listening in. She was a great snoop whenever she thought something interesting was going on. It was only luck that had Dis finding her Intended recently instead of bothering Thorin about his own. It was already bad enough with one sibling. "Well what are you waiting for."

"Shut up," Thorin said, glancing over at the house that he had been watching for the past several weeks. If he was honest, he had been kind of hoping that Haran would come out and it all would have been some elaborate lie that he could get mad at his Intended for, but with every passing day he knew that wish would not come true.

Except that Haran was coming out of his house at this very moment. He looked thin and pale, but at least his was walking. When Balin had told him that Haran was suffering the Sickness he never once thought that it would be this bad. Haran looked at death's door. He didn't look like he should be out of bed and Thorin wanted more than anything to send the other right back to it. After they talked. With how ill Haran looked, Thorin didn't think that he could wait any longer.

He was lucky that Haran was still alive.

"Haran!" he said when Haran started heading towards them. He was honestly surprised that his Intended didn't turn right around and avoid him like he did the last time they saw each other. He wouldn't blame him if he did. Yet there was something in Haran's eye that said he was on a mission and would not be swayed from his course.

"I'm heading to the training grounds and I was wondering if you three would join me?" he said with a weak smile. It almost looked like Haran was using the last of his strength just to show his teeth.

"Dis is using the training grounds right now," Frerin said.

"But we will be happy to join you," Thorin said. Haran had been avoiding going to the training grounds every time anyone had suggested it to him and Thorin wasn't stupid enough to think that he would just invite them to go there without good reason. Even if that weren't the case, Dis would have to forgive him because there was nothing that Thorin would deny his Intended in that moment.

"Dis is going to hate you," Frerin whispered to him as Haran passed them.

"Something is wrong," Thorin replied. "He wouldn't have invited me to join him otherwise."

"He probably wouldn't have even spoken to you," Frerin shrugged.

Thorin only scowled at his brother before speeding up to walk side by side with his Intended. As he passed Dwalin, he noticed his best friend and guard pulling an axe from his back. Dwalin had the best instincts for danger that Thorin had ever seen and that only confirmed his suspicion that something bad was going on.

They were heading to battle.

If there was ever a time that an apology needed to be said it was now, but all the words Thorin had carefully crafted over these weeks abandoned him and even the words "I'm sorry" wouldn't come out. Instead the only thing Thorin could think of was "I heard that you had been ill for some time." He wanted to kick himself for stating the obvious. It didn't even sound like he was worried about his Intended since he had known that he was sick for some time and hadn't ever come to visit him. "Are you feeling better now?" he asked, hoping that would at least show some of the worry he has felt.

"It was only a cold," Haran lied. Even if Balin hadn't told him what was truly ailing his Intended, Thorin still wouldn't have believed Haran would look this ill from a mere cold. "I feel much better now, though. All's I needed was a bit of rest."

Another lie. Haran was not feeling better, but Thorin knew exactly what his One needed to get over his illness. He reached out to touch the other, but held himself back. Now, on the cusp of battle, was not the time to have this sort of talk. "I am glad to hear it," he said, not knowing what else to say. Haran offered no reply so the two of them lapsed into an awkward silence. For a moment Thorin wondered if this awkwardness would have happened if he had accepted his Intended in the beginning. Until recently even with Thorin's hesitance to speak to Haran, any time they spent together was actually kind of nice, but now it was Haran who obviously didn't want anything to do with his Intended and that made all the difference.

They heard the fighting before they came upon the training grounds. Normally that wouldn't have been odd except for the fact that Dis and Vili, her Intended, were supposed to be the only ones there and Thorin highly doubted they would actually be fighting each other.

Haran was the first to move as a knife flew from his hand and into the head of an invading orc. And the fight began.

* * *

There weren't that many orcs to deal with. The fight ended quickly and Thorin didn't contribute to the battle at all. Especially when the guards came spilling in to fight off the last of the enemies. He was too busy watching his amazing Intended fight. He had to admit that he never believed Haran could fight at all. Even with him being the son of a guard, any dwarf who refused to practice could not be good at fighting. Yet Haran was amazing. He didn't even fight like most dwarves did. He moved a lot more and it almost looked like was dancing. It was amazing and Thorin couldn't take his eyes away from his Intended even with the danger all around them.

Yet somehow the only moment Thorin took his eyes away from his Intended to address the guards that came to their aid that everything went wrong.

"Haran!" Taran yelled as he fought his way through the crowd and Thorin turned just in time to see his Intended fall to the ground unconscious.

"What happened?" Thorin asked, crouching beside Haran as Taran pulled his younger brother into his arms. He hadn't seen any orc get anyway near touching Haran and couldn't see any injuries, but he reached out just to check.

"Don't touch him," Taran hissed, slapping Thorin's hand away. "You've already done enough."

That hurt. That hurt a lot, but Thorin knew he deserved it. He shouldn't touch his One while he was unconscious anyway. It wouldn't be fair to the other to Accept him without allowing him the experience of it. "Get a medic over here," he called out and Oin came forward immediately, but stopped before he reached him.

"There's nothing I can do," he said, shaking his head sadly.

"What do you mean?" Thorin demanded.

"It's the Sleep," Oin replied and Thorin's eyes widened. "There's nothing to do for him now but to make him comfortable."

"No," Thorin said even as Taran picked his brother up with tears in his eyes and started heading back to their home. "I'll accept him and he'll get better. He has to get better."

"I'm sorry Thorin," Frerin said from his side.

"This isn't the end," Thorin growled before rushing off to follow his Intended. He would make this better. He would swear it.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" Taran demanded from the doorway.

"I've come to see Haran," Thorin said, standing tall against the glare the other was sending his way.

"Aren't you a little late?" Taran hissed.

"Let the prince speak," Vorin said, pulling the door the rest of the way open.

"Sir," Thorin said with a bow. It was unbecoming of a prince to bow so low to one of his people, but for a dwarf asking a father for the son's hand in marriage it was a proper bow. "I have come to ask for Haran's hand."

"Surely you know that he will not last much longer," Vorin said with a shake of his head.

"He will wake," Thorin said determinedly. "I ask for his hand and should you allow it I swear I will not let him go until he wakes and tells me to leave himself."

Vorin stood with a skeptical eye and Taran continued to glare at him for several moments until finally the father pulled his son aside. "You may go to him," said the guard, "but do not hope. No one has ever survived the Sleep."

"Thank you," Thorin said with another bow before rushing into the house. With Vorin's direction he headed straight for Haran's bedroom. The room was small, but Thorin only had eyes for his One.

Haran's hand were cold as ice, but Thorin would not let him go. He would warm him and Haran would return and all would be well.

But Haran did not wake. Not for many weeks.

* * *

After only a day of standing over Haran's bed – he didn't feel that he had the right to sit on his One's bed – a chair was ordered for him and he spent the rest of many days eating and sleeping in that chair, never once letting go of Haran's hand.

Until one day the hand slipped out on its own.

* * *

It had been 1 month, 3 days, and 4 hours since Thorin's One fell into the Sleep. He could even tell you the time down to the second if his mind hadn't been otherwise occupied by exhausted sleep. He tried to deny himself such luxuries, afraid that Haran would fall to death while he slept, but at times such as these he would finally fall to it. He was so tired that he would have slept through anything, except the loss of the hand that he clutched so tightly.

Without a thought, Thorin jerked out to take back that hand. What if something happened to Haran in that few seconds that they weren't holding onto each other? What if he lost him? How could he lose something so precious? He would never forgive himself if anything happened to Haran.

A yelp broke him free of his blind panic and he looked up to find Haran staring at him. Haran's eyes were open. Wide open. He was alive! "Haran! You're awake!"

"What's going on?" Haran asked. His voice broke from disuse and Thorin thought that he should probably give his One something to drink, but there was nothing in his reach and he couldn't bring himself to leave his newly reawakened soul mate.

Thorin explained exactly what happened just before Haran fell, but he did not mention what he felt. He did not mention the fear that he would never see Haran again. It wasn't that he was proud, Haran would know everything about him if he had anything to say in the matter, but his emotions in this whole ordeal meant nothing. He brought this all upon them and he would suffer the consequences of it alone. "I promised that I would not leave you or let go of your hand until you woke up," he said.

"No one wakes from the Sleep," Haran said with a skeptical shake of his head.

"The Healers said the same," Thorin said, "but you did. I've Accepted you and you've woken. Everyone told me to give up after a week had passed, but I was determined."

"A week?" Haran asked. "How long has it been?"

Thorin cursed himself. He did not want to shock Haran with all of this right after he finally woke and he never should have mentioned any of it, but he would not deny Haran anything now. "A month or so," he said, pretending that he hadn't been counting every second in his hopeful grief. "I've been by your side the whole time," he said, hoping that knowledge would lessen the blow of how long had truly passed.

Haran frowned. Thorin didn't know the other dwarf well, but he had already come to recognize when Haran was holding something back. The frown the other wore now was one that Thorin saw often from his Intended, and one that he hoped he would see less of now. He would not press, though. He had no right. Maybe later when they knew each other better Haran would trust him enough to allow himself to be known better.

"We'll talk later," Haran said already sinking back into the softest pillows that Thorin had ordered for his One. "For now we both need some rest."

Thorin froze as Haran's eyes closed and he gripped the other's hand with such strength that he feared hurting Haran. He did not want the other to fall into Sleep again, but he had no right to deny it. This was all his fault. Besides, now he knew that Haran would wake again as long as he held on so he would hold on for dear life. "I will be here when you wake again."

Haran opened his eyes slightly to stare at Thorin for a mere moment before he used what little strength he had to move himself against the wall and away from Thorin. The dwarf prince frowned as he was forced to lean over the bed to keep hold of Haran's hand, but if Haran wanted space between them, he would of course allow it. "Come on," Haran said, tugging Thorin's hand. The prince hesitated, but eventually climbed into the bed alongside his Soulmate. He was more than a little surprised when Haran tiredly shook his hand free before rolling onto Thorin's chest and moving the prince's arms around his back. "Sleep," Haran said and Thorin tightened his arms, knowing that sleep would not come to him for some time. Not when he finally had his One in his arms.


	18. Loyalty: A Traditional Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With all the things Bilbo's been having to go through recently, I thought we all deserved a nice happy chapter. I hope this fulfills that wish.
> 
> Anyway, this chapter was requested by LadyLaran a while ago and I'm ashamed to say that I have been able to write it until now. Oh well I hope you all enjoyed it nonetheless.
> 
> If there are any chapters that you wish to see written in a specific person's POV please let me know and I will try to fulfill everyone's wishes (though I can't promise that it will be in a timely manner)

Thorin clenched his hands painfully at his sides. His fiancée was walking down the aisle and it was so hard not to just turn around and stare at his One. As was tradition, he hadn't seen Haran for a week preceding the wedding. A strange tradition that he swore he would get rid of as soon as he became king. Annoyingly enough, only the royalty even really stayed true to it too. Had he been anyone else, they would have allowed him to use the tradition of man where the betrothed were only kept apart for the night before the wedding. In all honesty, had he had any say in the matter, he would not have even allowed that.

Dwalin stood at his side, angled in a way that he could see Haran by the corner of his eye and he was giving Thorin a smirk that was seriously testing his patience. Why did all these traditions always have to take so long. Even the walk up to the throne where his grandfather sat was to be taken at a slow pace. Thorin wanted more than anything to just turn around and swoop his soon to be husband up in his arms and kiss him so this whole thing would be completely over.

Finally, finally, the music stopped and Thorin could barely see a sliver of his fiancée cloaked in white from the corner of his eye, but still he could not turn. This was torture and his family knew it.

Haran's hand slipped into his and Thorin clenched it tight. It was a break from protocol, but damn anyone who would mention it. He needed this if he was actually going to make it through this stupid ceremony. If only he could have eloped. That would make everything so much better. They could get married without all this pomp and circumstance. But he was a prince and that required a certain amount of show on his part for the people. That included the wedding. Thorin couldn't wait until later that night when it would finally be just him and his new husband.

Then came the exchanging of the ring and Thorin was finally able to face his husband. It had seemed like hours since this whole thing began. His grandfather was talking too slow and too many traditions to get through. Even now one of those traditions kept him from truly seeing his One with a veil of white over his head.

Unlike his own traditional garments of silver armor and a rich blue, Haran's clothes were a simple white flowing material that was cinched in at the waste with a silk belt. For a moment Thorin wondered if Haran felt uncomfortable in the outfit. His One had never always been a more feminine looking dwarf, but he never wore anything that could even remotely make him look like a dwarrowdam. He always had at least one weapon visible and Thorin had the pleasure of knowing that several more were often hidden in his clothes. It was strange now to see him without such things, though Thorin had no doubt that there were more than a few knifes tucked underneath the loose cloth.

"You may now kiss your One," the King said and Thorin couldn't get rid of that veil fast enough. There was no crown yet on Haran's head to keep it in place so the veil fell away and Thorin didn't care one bit because he could finally see and kiss his husband. His husband.

His husband.

Haran grinned at him when he finally pulled away and Thorin couldn't help but to return the smile. To think that he almost lost this. To think that he was almost the cause of this perfect dwarf's death. He would never forgive himself for that, but at least now his had his One in his arms and they would never again be separated if he had any say in the matter.

Thorin wanted more than anything to return to their rooms for their week of solitude together, but there were still more traditions that they had to partake in. The most important of which being the showing of the new prince. Whenever there was a new person added to the royal line whether they be born or married in, all the royals walked the halls to show themselves to their people. Some would say that this tradition was stupid and Thorin had more than once when his siblings were born questioned it because it left them all open to attack or assassination. It was a show of trust, though, that they could walk among their people without worry or fear. A show that the people trusted them to lead just as much as the royalty trusted their people with their lives. And it was a challenge. If anyone should try to kill them and succeed than they were not worthy to lead armies and therefore should not be royalty.

Thorin smiled and waved at his people alongside his husband, but his awareness remained sharp. He had heard people question the strength of his husband and he would not allow any of them to harm him. It wasn't Thorin, though, that first noticed the danger. Instead he felt Haran clutch the arm he lead him by a little too tightly. "What's the matter?" he asked without looking to his husband. If there was something wrong, than he did not want to give up the position of surprise.

"It's nothing," Haran replied with a smile. "Just a bad memory."

Thorin tensed for a moment. Was it possible that Haran was remembering how he treated him in the past? Perhaps he was regretting marrying Thorin after all. It had only been a little over a month since they had Accepted each other. Maybe Thorin had been rushing things.

But Haran's smile was serene and Thorin could see no regret in his eyes so he forced himself to relax. "You're not supposed to have bad memories on your wedding day," he said. He would not ask forgiveness from his husband in the assumption that this was about the way he had treated him. This was their wedding day and neither wanted to think of such things. "It's bad luck."

And bad luck it was because in the next moment they were stopped as Dwalin stepped in front of them to intercept a she-dwarf with a knife. Thorin vaguely recognized her, but it was the hair cut to her chin that truly made him remember her. She was the one who had pulled Thorin into an alley in the hopes of somehow becoming queen and had been shamed with her hair cut short for it. Now he understood what Haran was referring to when he spoke of bad memories. Thorin's hackles rose and he wanted more than anything to get rid of her once and for all so she would never again be able to make his husband think of such things, but he held himself back. It wasn't against tradition for him to fight to protect his husband, but it would bring shame to his family if he beat the already disarmed dwarrowdam to a bloody pulp. Besides, she had not harmed Haran and she would be shaven and banished for even attempting it.

"It's poisoned," Dwalin snarled, picking up the weapon as the guards pulled the she-dwarf away by the shoulder he had dislocated.

"You aren't injured are you Dwalin?" Haran asked. Had it not been for the arm that Thorin hadn't even realized he had wrapped around his waist, he probably would have tried to check on their guard, but there was no need. Even with the surprised attack, there was no way the she-dwarf had even nearly enough training to harm Dwalin.

Dwalin must have thought the same because he snorted and shook his head. "I think you should be more concerned about yourself," he said. "She was aiming for you."

Thorin could barely hold back the growl deep in his throat. When he saw the she-dwarf attack he had thought that she was trying to get at him because he wouldn't be hers or as some form of revenge. It hadn't even entered his darkest thoughts that she might actually think to attack his husband. In fact, he realized suddenly, even though he had determined to protect Haran from anyone who wished to harm him, he hadn't even once thought that someone might actually try.

"I am quite unharmed," Haran said, a serene smile back on his face as he relaxed against Thorin's side. It was as much to show his own calm to the crowd as it was to calm the prince, Thorin knew. He wanted more than anything not to let his husband lure him into a calm sense of security just in case someone else should try to attack, but he was failing. Haran just had that effect on him it would seem. "Due to your quick thinking."

Dwalin glanced at Thorin's relaxing form before he grinned and shook his head. He wiped the blade clean of the poison, tucked the cloth in a pouch, and crouched before the prince's, holding the knife out to Haran. Thorin couldn't be more proud that Haran had so easily gained the loyalty of his long time friend. Of course, as the guard of Prince Thorin, Dwalin would have done everything to protect his husband, but Thorin didn't think that he would have warmed up to Haran so quickly. His One just seemed to have that effect on people.

"Thank you Dwalin," Haran whispered as he took the knife and handed it to Thorin. The metal of the knife was light and the craftsmanship flimsy. Even the slightest amount of pressure at the tang where the knife connected to the handle and he was sure that Thorin was sure that he could break it. As a weapon, it was not at all worthy of Haran's skill, but the sentiment behind it was what truly mattered. Haran would wear it openly at some point to show his acceptance of Dwalin's loyalty, but he would never actually use it. Besides, Thorin would make sure to make him plenty of knives and daggers of a skill far more worthy of Haran's skill.

"I swear that, as long as you are with Prince Thorin, I will do everything in my power to keep you safe," Dwalin said.

"Thank you Dwalin," said Haran, a blush forming on his cheeks. He was still getting used to people noticing him as loyalty and Thorin thought this reaction was cute.


	19. Balin's Council and the Truth of the Matter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Balin's council is always what's best. Especially when he's the only one willing to get to the truth of the matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this one wasn't requested by anybody, but I've been wanting to do it for a while, so here it is.

Balin was rather angry with his prince. It had been two days since the dwarf had been so horrible to his Intended and yet he still did not have the guts to go and apologize. He had been disappointed with Thorin about this whole affair for a long time now, but he understood that the prince was not one that easily showed his true emotions. Still, this had just been too far and Balin could not feel bad for his anger towards the prince now. Haran deserved better, but now there was no way of him getting that. Balin wasn't stupid after all. He saw how much pain the boy was in and he was well aware that soon enough Haran would fall to Sickness and die. The prince may not see it, but Haran was not such a good liar that others could not tell.

It was only a matter of time before the Prince lost his Soulmate forever.

So Balin was angry. So much so that he had to literally leave the prince's side in his time of need just to make sure that he didn't yell at the other and say something that he didn't truly mean. And that is exactly why he found Haran sitting on the parapet, pale face to the sky and haggard eyes closed. Suddenly he wondered how Haran felt about all this. Thorin had spoken much about his Intended, but scarcely spoke to him and Balin had yet to actually meet him so he knew nothing of his character. Was he resigned to his fate or was he angry at Thorin for the condemnation? He had fought for so long, but was he finally giving up, or did he intend to fight to the very end?

"Can I sit with you laddie?" he asked before he could think the better of it. If he could just understand how Haran felt about this whole thing, perhaps he would be able to point Prince Thorin in the right direction towards forgiveness.

The prince's Intended opened his eyes to glance at Balin before lazily nodding. "Of course," he said, though he didn't make a move to give Balin more room to sit. It was not out of disrespect, however, the dwarf was just too tired to move.

Balin hesitated only long enough to give Haran a proper bow for a prince. Even if he died before he became one, this dwarf should have been a prince and Balin would treat him as such. "I suppose that I should introduce myself," he said when Haran didn't react to his bow. "Balin, at your service."

Haran blinked at him stupidly for a moment before giving another lazy bow. "Haran at yours and your family's," he said and Balin was more than a little concerned. This was much farther along than he had expected. And given the fact that it had only been two days, Haran was descending fast.

"It is very good to finally meet you," Balin said, smiling despite himself. "I have heard much about you." Perhaps if he could give Haran some hope that Thorin did actually care about him, he would last until the prince finally gathered his nerve, though it would still have to be a rushed affair.

Haran raised a brow, but said nothing even though his mouth moved to do so.

"Indeed," Balin said quickly, reassuring the dwarf. More needed to be said, of course, and he hurried on. "Prince Thorin does speak about you a great deal. He told me that you are an archer and that you are very good. Even better than the elves, he said."

"That isn't true," Haran said. He was quiet for a moment and Balin left him to his contemplation before Haran shook his head. The Prince's Advisor frowned. He was a dwarf trained to know how others think and he could definitely tell that Haran was not buying his words even though they were the truth. "I don't mean to be rude," said Haran before Balin could try again to assure him that Thorin cared for him, "but what is it that you want from me? I don't think that the Prince's Advisor would just sit down and start a conversation with some random person without at least some reason.

Balin sighed, but he nodded. If he could not convince Haran than he needed to get to the point so that he could go to Thorin and tell him the state that his Intended was in. "I was wondering if you ever planned to tell Thorin about it."

"About what?" asked Haran after a moment's slow hesitation.

"About how much his Rejection is hurting you." That at least would give him some insight to Haran's motives in this whole thing.

"No," Haran said, looking back out at the sky. "I don't want him to know."

"Why ever not?" Was it some test that Thorin had to see his pain? Of course not. Such a test would be more painful for Haran than Thorin. Perhaps he was a stubborn dwarf who did not care for anyone to see him in pain, but would that make him a good match for Thorin who was just the same? "I am sure that if he knew what pain he was causing you, he would do everything in his power to fix it."

Haran glanced at him before his lips pulled sluggishly upward to a pitiful smile. "I wanted for him to Accept me willingly. Not because he pittied me for feeling pain, but because he actually liked me."

And their lied the true problem of Soulmates. Rejection was a death sentence and it left little room for true love, but that it seemed was the only thing that Haran wanted from Thorin. _"I want nothing from you,"_ had been his words in the market, but now Balin knew it to be completely untrue. Haran wanted love, but he thought it impossible to get from the dwarf, so he would ask for nothing. But there was another thing that concerned Balin. In the market it had been want and now it became wanted. The Prince's advisor was not ignorant to the meaning of such a change. "Wanted?" he asked, hoping that Haran had just lost hope and could regain it and that it wasn't already too late. Though, going by Haran's demeanor it was more likely that death was already closing in on him.

"He has made it quite clear that he wants nothing to do with me," Haran replied. "As his Intended or otherwise."

Balin truly was going to put the fear of Mahal into his Prince. That Thorin had put his One through this much pain was truly a horrible thing and Balin wondered now if Haran would forgive him even if he did apologize. He was beginning to think that the Prince may not deserve it.

"What will you do when the Sickness overcomes you?" he asked. This was the last thing he would need to know before he would go back to Thorin and make sure that idiot of a dwarf Prince apologized before he lost everything.

"Then I shall suffer through it until the end," said Haran.

Balin should have stood at that moment, bid Haran a farewell and marched across Erebor to drag his Prince by his ear to apologize. He would make sure that Thorin got on his knees before his Intended and gave the most heartfelt apology as can be given by someone such as the headstrong Prince. But he couldn't move. The sudden realization that Haran had known all along that he was heading for Sickness and had already accepted it froze him to the spot. This dwarf truly was too good to be Thorin's Intended, but he would be the perfect consort for a Prince. Kind, benevolent, and completely unselfish to the point of self sacrifice.

Haran stood instead, as Balin's hand fell from his shoulder, but his legs were weak and he fell immediately. Balin was only just quick enough to catch him and lower him safely to the ground, but he knew now that his suspicions had been true. "You are already suffering the Sickness aren't you?"

Haran's eyes opened slowly, as though they were the heaviest weights he had ever been asked to lift. "It is merely a fever," he denied unconvincingly. "It will go away soon enough."

Balin would have said something, but Taran came upon them too quickly. Besides there was nothing he could say now that would save the dwarf. Only Thorin had that power.

As Taran pulled his brother away after a conversation with Balin that the advisor already couldn't remember, Balin turned and marched back to the training grounds where he knew Thorin would be.

* * *

Thorin was just where he thought he would be, training with a dummy because Dwalin was clearly ignoring him on the other side of the room. Balin's younger brother may be mad at the Prince, but that didn't mean that he would ever relinquish his duty to protect him.

Balin stormed into the room and his anger was so great that Dwalin reached for his weapons in defense of the Prince before staying himself. The advisor grabbed a weapon from one of the walls, marched to Thorin, and knocked the prince's sword out of his hand before he could react. It was often forgotten that Balin had originally trained to take the place that his brother now held before eventually deciding he was better suited to be an advisor. Then he was the one who completed Dwalin's training in defense. He was a great soldier in his own right and though he didn't fight much anymore, both Prince Thorin and Dwalin had yet to beat him.

The prince stared at him wide eyed as Balin pointed the sword at him. "You are going to listen to me very carefully," Balin said, his eyes dark in anger. "I'm going to teach you a lesson."

Thorin nodded slowly as Dwalin moved to stand beside him, ready to pull a weapon against his own brother should it be necessary. Balin nodded once before dropping the sword. "As you know, there are two possibilities when meeting a Soulmate," he said, pacing to get his angry energy out, "Acceptance and Rejection. What you felt when you touched hands with Haran was Acceptance. It is the feeling of becoming whole. All seems right with the world and whatever emptiness you may have felt disappears as though it never existed. Haran, on the other hand, felt something completely different. He felt Rejection, which is the feeling of one's heart being ripped out of their chest and from then on it feels like the agony of a gaping, infected wound that will never kill you."

"Weak bonds don't feel like that," Thorin said, though there was a touch of desperation in his voice.

"Who said your bond was weak?" Balin asked, glaring at the prince. Thorin stepped back as though a great blow had been dealt to him. "Well?"

"We are not right for each other," Thorin said, ducking his head as a proud prince should never do.

"Is that what you truly believe?" Haran asked, raising a brow, though the anger did not disappear from his voice. "Or is it that you do not think him worthy of you? Tell me, my prince, what do you find lacking in the dwarf that the gods chose for you?"

"Nothing!" Thorin practically shouted. "There's nothing. He's perfect, but I have caused him such pain. I do not deserve him."

Now Balin understood what was going on in Thorin's mind and suddenly he realized this whole thing was just a mess, but that did not excuse Thorin's lack of action. "Then you condemn him to pain for the rest of his short life."

Thorin winced at the first part of the statement, but he looked up in alarm at the second. "What do you mean?" he asked, eyes wide and pleading.

"Surely, you did not think that your Intended wouldn't eventually fall to the Sickness. Surely, it was sooner than even I expected, but it won't be long now before he succumbs to the Sleep. What will you do then?"

"I won't let that happen," Thorin said, surging forward without even bothering to pick his weapon up again. Dwalin followed after him and Balin allowed them to go while he stayed back and overcame his anger. He could only hope that Thorin would make it in time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course it would be Balin who finally tells Thorin the truth of the matter.


End file.
